Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast,...

By dunnough - 14/01/2009 11:06 - United States

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 654

You deserved it 2 703

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 01:56 - United States

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 090

You deserved it 3 130

Cool beans

By oopsiecoffee - 09/04/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 330

You deserved it 76 760

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 05:52 - United States

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 930

Awwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 00:53 - United States - Taunton

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 000

You deserved it 2 375

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 16:39 - United States

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 962

You deserved it 3 543

Fight or flight

By Jeffery89000 - 14/09/2024 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 322

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 481

You deserved it 5 354

By imsadnow - 31/01/2011 20:01 - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 142

You deserved it 7 297

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

By Scoudrel - 26/02/2021 17:01

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 6 349

Regular boozehound

By Matchtopia - 18/01/2012 00:21 - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 269

You deserved it 30 229

bestnamever 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 21:51

Lil' cook guy? That's a really weird thing to say

mmplayer 0

Friday 6 August 2010 3:44

it's because you go to the bagel shop everyday and now, you have man boobs.

Comments

Tonic_Chord 0

Monday 11 January 2010 3:37

Don't worry about it too much. I'm sure that the cook just has a cold.

tipoo_fml 0

Monday 8 February 2010 19:52

Maybe he meant Miss like...Mista?

NotUnique 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 21:09

That was funny. Idk why people thumbs down this.

88sforlife 0

Thursday 29 April 2010 4:37

I Like Bagel

bestnamever 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 21:51

Lil' cook guy? That's a really weird thing to say

kylieh72 25

Sunday 15 April 2012 4:38

He deserves it just for saying that.

theguitarist93 4

Wednesday 11 January 2012 1:25

You didn't call him "lil cook guy" to his face, did you?

awkwardturtl3 3

Monday 3 June 2013 8:19

maybe he doesn't know eng well? I remember I had a substitute Prof and she called everyone 'sir'. even girls

cupcakeb15 9

Sunday 6 October 2013 23:48

Someone obviously didn't get the chance to moderate this one....

dawanjony 18

Wednesday 8 October 2014 13:01

That guy spent his night with another guy.

ebolson1019 12

Wednesday 28 January 2015 23:23

He probably meant it as a joke

Tomato_Cheese 22

Wednesday 30 December 2015 9:08

Sometimes people mess up their words OP. Don't take it to heart.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

The Top

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 988

You deserved it 2 562

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 710

You deserved it 4 343

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 2 795

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding, "Yes! Of course I will come!" After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, two ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 158

You deserved it 5 757

Today, my sister, who used to be my best friend, texted me asking why we never talk anymore. Hmm, maybe it’s because she stopped answering my calls, texts, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, psychic reachings, and every other form of communication since she got a new boyfriend six months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 145