Animals: Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking... - FML

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 773

You deserved it 5 550

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 421

Opportunity knocks

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 22:00

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 148

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

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You deserved it 279

Get them away from me

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 16:27 - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 992

You deserved it 3 754

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 591

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 796

Tasty treat

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 766

You deserved it 10 702

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 809

You deserved it 7 555

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 320

You deserved it 2 779

By steve - 23/12/2011 03:02 - United States

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 438

You deserved it 35 856

Next

Top comments

thatgirlinoregon 21

Monday 11 June 2012 16:06

At least it didn't take your shoe!

Paco_el_Taco 17

Monday 11 June 2012 16:08

Look at it this way, now you don't have to carry all that shit around with you.

Comments

some_dumb_kid46 7

Monday 21 January 2019 6:34

slap the director

Keywords

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Today, I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, "Who's my baby?" I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, "You." FML

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