Intimacy: Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she...

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 245

You deserved it 6 635

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Same thing different taste

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 378

You deserved it 10 650

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 060

You deserved it 4 410

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 6 153

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 5 199

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 907

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 232

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 6 881

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 4 347

By Santa - 25/12/2014 03:01 - United States - Cocoa

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 13 437

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

unidentified_sta 5

Monday 20 December 2010 9:11

Well... It beats the present being for your daughter at least. Santa has got a nice treat for you stowed away in his sack.

Doortje 29

Monday 20 December 2010 9:09

I bet it was big :D

Comments

Adchou11 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:20

BONER!!!

red1fox1demon 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:47

oh wow...I would have slapped the Santa and yelled"perv",but yea that's just me.

DaniPickles 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 8:45

Talk about Ho Ho Ho

missIrene 6

Sunday 27 February 2011 23:17

Aren't you supposed to sit on his knee and not his erection? to prevent crap like that

soccerchica04 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 4:01

he had a bigggggg one!!!!:D

lunkness_monster 0

Monday 21 March 2011 11:04

At least your daughter didn't feel it on her small, tight, rockin bum

lovingmylife84 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 22:36

if you're that trashy to get drunk at a work party then I hope you get fired.

jjluv456 11

Monday 18 July 2011 17:59

a boner?

Xenmas021 3

Sunday 7 August 2011 3:49

You must have been dressed like a HO HO HO.

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 0:33

pwned!!!

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Students Relatable Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

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I agree, your life sucks 26 136

You deserved it 2 470

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Same thing different taste

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