Intimacy: Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend,...

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 135

You deserved it 72 632

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 972

You deserved it 9 636

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 987

You deserved it 6 825

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 447

You deserved it 5 478

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 871

You deserved it 4 425

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 10 405

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 381

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 776

You deserved it 4 108

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 490

By RahiYeah09 - 17/09/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 280

You deserved it 7 193

slyvanilla_creme 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:37

You didn't know where your gf's father works? That bites.... Next time, tell him its for sex ed and your teaching kids how to put it on a banana.

Miru_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:57

"her dads a cashier? he sure got far in life..." @#1: You shouldn't be so ignorant, some people couldn't afford higher education. Or perhaps Kim's dad was an immigrant just trying to establish a life in a new country. It's hard for them.

Comments

xoky720 6

Saturday 15 December 2012 3:44

Kim and ME. I hate illiterate people.

HarroIAmBob 21

Wednesday 24 April 2013 0:37

i hope you're being sarcastic. otherwise you are retarded.

fuzz97 23

Tuesday 16 April 2013 3:15

you're actually retarded

whelp777 15

Friday 1 May 2015 17:45

shouldve told him you were buying them for a friend

sethr_di 15

Wednesday 23 November 2016 20:03

at least u tried

shannon2348 14

Thursday 30 January 2020 18:45

Oh come on. You didnt know where her father worked? I find that very hard to believe. And then you didn't even notice until you were ready to pay? Right. ydi