Intimacy: Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop...

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 488

You deserved it 19 820

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Same thing different taste

By drooooooool - 09/11/2010 17:17 - United States

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 255

You deserved it 6 363

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 921

You deserved it 50 991

I did a sex

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 184

Legged it

By poserpilot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 940

You deserved it 6 818

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 68 673

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 480

You deserved it 56 515

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 238

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 858

You deserved it 1 615

KHADOOZLE 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 13:25

"DIGITAL PENILE OSCILLATION" WHAT THE **** DOES THIS MEAN? LIKE YOU TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LAPTOP!!!

stain33319 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 14:17

your misuse of large words makes you that much more of a failure.

Comments

pomlaos 0

Monday 14 December 2009 8:25

YDI this is epic fail.

NateFoust 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 7:12

i love the comments I'm luaghing at this so much

franfran_fml 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 16:59

I really thought that he said he tried to have sex with his laptop, not jack off to ****.

UbeenKAKed 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 2:02

This happens to me all the time. Its fun to see if you can bust a nut before you pass out. Im at 4 to 7. I'll update after the weekend. Im hoping to be at 5 to 7 by saturday night!!!