Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd...

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

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Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 2 035

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 246

You deserved it 43 582

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 377

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 597

You deserved it 8 129

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 238

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 185

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 892

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 1 559

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 2 974

Welshite 39

Tuesday 28 January 2014 1:05

You're a jerk. Next time own up to your own messes.

Carpenter_C 14

Tuesday 28 January 2014 1:05

You must've really been pissed.

Comments

Daxto 3

Saturday 8 February 2014 23:06

I have a felling that in a little while you will be drowning in regret

TheMystery13 13

Saturday 8 March 2014 0:06

I suppose she deserves to lay in piss for sharing a bed with a piece of shit like you.

arinmon 5

Saturday 15 March 2014 6:20

such a wonderful man

Drake_The_Dragon 23

Saturday 17 May 2014 21:47

Dick Head.

gonnahurt 3

Friday 12 September 2014 4:09

id wake her with sex telling her its a fetish and youre really turned on that she wet herself and the bed

TheArianaJean 3

Tuesday 23 September 2014 8:35

OP you are a horrible person!

LadyNightowl 17

Sunday 9 November 2014 0:10

You're a complete jerk.

Jazzy793 16

Sunday 11 January 2015 9:39

I think this is more your girlfriends FML

Host2phats 21

Monday 7 December 2015 17:51

LOL When she wakes up yell "Bed head wets the bead! Burn!"

Jared27_fml 12

Saturday 27 February 2016 21:30

Little do you know, she actually wet the bed and rolled you over it to avoid the blame

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, while I was gaming, a girl using voice chat was probably the most polite person I have ever encountered in my life. It was only after I logged off that I realized she spoke to me with more affection and respect than my own mother ever has in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 123

Today, I’m living in China and I asked my native boyfriend to read me the names of all the different goods at the bakery, so I can do more than just point next time. I realized why he doesn’t see the point, when he translated : "Bread, bread, bread, bread and… bread." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 221

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 064

You deserved it 3 022

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 329

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 059

You deserved it 2 920

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 2 439