Animals: Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights...

By Sara - 04/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 581

You deserved it 9 075

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Same thing different taste

By gimmeasalad - 21/04/2012 06:01 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 148

You deserved it 36 922

By alltimelove - 18/11/2010 15:34

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 460

You deserved it 10 027

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 725

Alas, poor Stuart

By ShouldIHelpIt - 18/05/2016 02:46 - United States - Northampton

Today, I woke up to hear dripping water in the kitchen. Thinking it was someone getting a glass of water or something, I came out to find that it was just a mouse drowning in my dog's water bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 822

You deserved it 946

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 408

You deserved it 3 346

Goddamn cat!

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Monsey

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 185

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

By anonymous - 16/10/2014 20:53 - United States - Canton

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 4 064

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 3 115

Titanic

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I woke up to a flooded apartment. Apparently, the upstairs neighbor's bathtub had overflowed and water was pouring through my ceiling. My landlord said he couldn't do anything until the water stopped, so I spent the morning frantically trying to mop up the water while feeling completely helpless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 103

nipas13titans 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:27

That is ******* crazy! Best of luck on that one... those damn chinchillas are cute, but lurking deep beneath their masks of adorableness lies a malicious monster, waiting to escape...

spankyness 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:41

I hate those things... I stayed over at this girls dorm and she had one and of course it got out and every hour when I was about to fall asleep itd bite me and run away

Comments

spankyness 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:41

I hate those things... I stayed over at this girls dorm and she had one and of course it got out and every hour when I was about to fall asleep itd bite me and run away

Pg11 0

Monday 22 November 2010 8:06

this is funnier than the fml lol

neonpanda44 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:51

agreed!

corocoro 30

Saturday 17 August 2013 15:50

He must've really hated you because they're not even aggressive animals.

rokin 17

Thursday 22 November 2018 7:02

March_2_1836 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:44

Hahahahaha mine chewed through the cord on my stereo and almost electrocuted hinself. He knows better now.

skeez_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:45

lol chinchillas are dumb(even though super cute) one of my friend's had one and it chewed threw an electrical cord and burned off all its whiskers. another friend of mine had one who decided to chew on its water bottle and choked and died.

greenangel_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:55

We had a chinchilla and recently gave it to a friend. She chewed on everything in my brother's room and if we ever want to sell the house we have to completely redo his room.

riffraff_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:26

Dear diary, Chinchilla sure are nocturnal.

foREVerOrNever 9

Wednesday 5 October 2011 1:39

I love magical Trevor!!!!!

Vonnick 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:28

Wait, what? That's one evil mother trucker. o_O

Vogelfanger 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:32

I would love to see the FML post for your downstairs neighbors.

shady_angel 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:37

aww, i have 2 chinchillas, and even though they are so cute they do eat anything n everything, and are very clever, once they have decided somthing thats it they do it haha. although i will say, they are so good with kids, n they dont really bite, just nibble. but i understand what a pain they can be, mine ate through the dvd cable... i wasnt happy lol