Work: Today, I woke up early and rushed to work to get to our first...

By cam96 - 15/10/2017 13:00

Today, I woke up early and rushed to work to get to our first weekly safety meeting. I was the only one that remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 381

You deserved it 301

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/06/2019 20:04

Today, after being a few minutes late to work a few times this week, I left the house super early this morning. When I got to work, security hadn’t unlocked the doors yet, so I waited in my car, where I ended up falling asleep and sleeping through most of my entire morning shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 1 584

By viabbey - 24/08/2019 16:00 - United States - Cadillac

Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 700

By fitzy79 - 31/01/2014 20:04 - United States

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 797

You deserved it 3 759

By Jobless in Seattle - 05/05/2015 02:08 - United States - Katy

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 595

You deserved it 30 493

On time

By Anonymous - 28/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Oakland

Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 1 063

By patate - 02/05/2017 20:00

Today, I was yelled at and almost fired for showing up "late" to work. I was the first one here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 810

You deserved it 332

Perfect timing

By Poopalipa - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 252

You deserved it 3 460

By Devildrake - 15/04/2015 22:32 - Australia

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 840

You deserved it 2 284

By RandomTurtle109 - 19/03/2016 12:40 - United States - White River Junction

Today, I woke up late, got ready within 10 minutes, and drove to work. I walked in and apologized to my boss. He said, "Go home, it's your day off…" Walk of Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 3 624

Great first impression

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up early for a job interview. I got lost and arrived an hour late, only to find out it was the wrong day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 690

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 15 October 2017 13:51

I guess you could say that it was safe to sleep in after all.

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 15 October 2017 15:25

You're one of those kids that remind the teacher about the homework that needs to be handed in, aren't you?

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 15 October 2017 13:51

I guess you could say that it was safe to sleep in after all.

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 15 October 2017 15:25

You're one of those kids that remind the teacher about the homework that needs to be handed in, aren't you?

DavyJoe 13

Sunday 15 October 2017 23:36

Why are people downvoting this?It's clear that you didn't actually mean it

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 October 2017 17:17

“Safety First” is such a cliché and overrated anyways. Rock that “Safety 43rd (between Casual Friday and Automated Hand Dryers)” slogan!

davecross 11

Sunday 15 October 2017 21:36

Didn't you get the memo that meeting was cancelled!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, I had a conversation with my doctor about how I am neurologically incapable of feeling happiness like a normal person, and he doesn't know what to do about it. His words, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 100

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 667

You deserved it 4 179

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 071

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I once again confronted my boyfriend about tagging the girl he told me not to worry about in boyfriend/girlfriend memes on Facebook instead of me. He told me I was overreacting and, “it’s just social media!” He told me he’ll dump me if I bring it up again. We’ve been together for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 441

Today, at work, the same manager who flagged me for being on my phone during an emergency call to my MIL, telling me my baby had an accident and busted her head open, was sitting in the office watching TikTok videos and hitting her vape pen. I guess the rules only apply to certain people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 127

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 627

You deserved it 8 229

Same thing different taste

On time

Perfect timing

Great first impression

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