Health: Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to...

By Michelle - 09/01/2010 16:11 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 682

You deserved it 3 444

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Same thing different taste

Right between the toes

By hellosir - 27/03/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 405

You deserved it 4 201

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By sicktomystomach - 02/05/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 707

You deserved it 5 218

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 3 270

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 860

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 183

By wookieewhosshe - 26/06/2019 14:03

Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 630

By Alisterine - 24/08/2014 17:31 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 230

You deserved it 14 626

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 88

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

Erindub 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 23:36

Ewwww! Thats foul

sweatnut 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 23:38

that sucks. maybe you should of just spat in the sink.

Comments

nosecks 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 3:49

YDI for puking on yourself, instead of in the toilet that was right infront of you...

tylerd_311 0

Monday 19 April 2010 6:13

thats nastyy but YDI for not aiming in the toilet

snippitydiggity 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 7:40

are you sure your not preganant?

rokitfingers 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 4:06

YDI for not throwing up in the toilet.

smartalek 2

Sunday 3 July 2011 6:29

Ever heard of a sink? that way you don't have to put your mouth near foul smelling bodily fluids. without your decision of course. ;)

goofygirl27 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 4:18

that SUCKS

ssvball2552 10

Thursday 2 May 2013 12:14

Why didnt you spit in the sink

winimy 8

Thursday 29 May 2014 19:50

Dude do you have roommates or was that someone you?

H3M1LY99 7

Wednesday 20 August 2014 4:52

why didn't you just puke in the toilet.....

cantfixme36 28

Thursday 8 January 2015 8:08

Hold on. You were standing in front of an open toilet and you vomited on your feet? XD

Keywords

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Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 525

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 574

You deserved it 16 912

Today, I was absolutely crucified online for asking the vet’s office how much it would cost to put my dog down. She's terminally ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 113

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 671

You deserved it 7 500

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 977

You deserved it 52 446

Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 21 026

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 259

Same thing different taste

Right between the toes

Splat!

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