Health: Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went...

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 3 270

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Same thing different taste

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 1 701

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 7 257

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 2 323

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

By sicktomystomach - 02/05/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 707

You deserved it 5 218

karagarren 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.

Comments

karagarren 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once

Kyzahhh 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:03

Atleast when you have kids and they complain about feeling sick you can tell them this story and not to complain till this has happened to them

enonymous 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:09

It's good that she's a chick. Blame it on a really strong period causing your colon to cramp up

FailBear920 19

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:10

Honey badger dont give a shit! That sucks op i feel bad

hypuuurness 6

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:15

18- haha I love that

zuzupetalsYO 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:33

Good thing you are right next to a shower. Get in it!

ArcadePie 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:12

This happened to me in school when i was six and people still slag me about it to this day

touch_the_sky 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:36

It's a shitty situation.

DEADTR00PER 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:20

Either take your friends clothing and clean up and dispose of shitty clothing. Or try to go home??

abbyelizabeth 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 18:19

I think I've read at least five FML's similar to this. :|

xTexasLonghorn1 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 20:01

ur profile picture. was it taken in Madison, ms at calk of the walk

Po1ntBlank 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 20:54

I confirmed this FML xD

Pebbles89 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 21:49

#50 are those naked people???!

Charkan_fml 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 22:04

#84 Why yes, they are.

chrissi3vintage 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

shit happens and we have to deal with them. *awkward moment* with a fellow of your friend.

HeavyScout 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:02

Ahh, I see what you did there

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:25

Good job. Would you like an award?

BooGhosted 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:50

Would you?^ Cause I do.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:55

No soup for you!!

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.

herpitydurteedur 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:15

That's what I always do :/ especially cause I live in a house where people could care less if I am covered in sick or not. Besides, if ou crap first, there's less of a chance that you will when you actually do puke.

sxe_beast 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:19

The tub and toilet in some bathrooms are night right next to each other. Like mine. I sit on the toilet and hold the waist basket O.O.

Ames19 6

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:08

21: i did the same thing..

sunrise1234 3

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

multitasking is a good skill to have(;

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:54

Pretty sure OP just explained why multitasking fails here.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:52

Lol must've been quite the party to have been sleeping in your pants. ;)

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:09

They could've easily been pajama pants.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:45

Very possible, and was probably then worded that way because "shit my pants" is the cliché term. Nice catch sir.

lmBobSaget 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:53

SCREAMING EAGLE!

btstig 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:57

Sometimes keeping shit to yourself is a good idea.

hurrican_fml 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 20:01

Oh I see what you did there :)

polishboy 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 7:00

Very punny sir. Good one

joefrazier 20

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:58

Man that is messed up

slick5880 22

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:22

Good looking dog. Bad comment.

xlorawrz 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:59

The "Oh, shit, please tell me that didn't just happen" events always tend to happen at houses other than your own. Sorry OP, hope you took care of yourself.

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:12

Yeah like one time when i was at my friends house, there was a pocket knife on her bathroom counter and I started looking at it. Then I dropped in in the toilet.