Intimacy: Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet...

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 766

You deserved it 9 915

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Same thing different taste

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 148

You deserved it 50 232

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 711

You deserved it 9 336

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 342

You deserved it 4 029

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 051

You deserved it 9 046

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 292

By hdat - 11/06/2009 17:51 - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 944

You deserved it 16 205

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 4 275

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 07:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 324

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 230

All I need to do…

By Dreamblocker - 28/06/2021 22:00

Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 204

buddy51 23

Thursday 4 July 2013 11:29

Still a better love story than Twilight!

Wizardo 33

Thursday 4 July 2013 13:23

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie? I Cheddar the world and the Feta cheese. Everybody's looking for Stilton".

Comments

lzdawgtwo 3

Thursday 4 July 2013 16:16

I'd ask for details as that is odd as hell, but I'm not sure I truly want to know......

hawkknight 24

Thursday 4 July 2013 16:17

Their new slogan.... "so good you'll have wet dreams about it!"

ZeroPath5 16

Thursday 4 July 2013 16:45

Wasn't there an FML exactly like this about bacon? Is food the new fetish now?

K_kanaka 26

Thursday 4 July 2013 17:09

By any chance OP you are the same person that made that FML about that wet dream about bacon?

stacieharms 11

Thursday 4 July 2013 17:15

Um.... Ok

AMillionManMosh 4

Thursday 4 July 2013 17:19

It happens. Wet dreams are a weird bunch. I once had one about a girl sitting next to me on the bus. Nothing to be ashamed of.

MommaSchmidt 14

Thursday 4 July 2013 17:33

that stuff is kinda sexy

Brock_Dudeson 11

Thursday 4 July 2013 18:11

What the actual ****

wolfgold2 20

Thursday 4 July 2013 18:22

it aint easy bein cheest

ShakeDisPlace 10

Thursday 4 July 2013 18:24

Golden shower.....with VELVEETAAAHHH :D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 303

You deserved it 41 323

Today, I told my husband that if he wanted any chance of salvaging our marriage, we would have to go to counseling and he must cut ALL ties with the woman he had an affair with. The sniveling worm actually had the audacity to ask, “If we stop the sex, can I still stay friends with her?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 297

The Top

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 278

You deserved it 12 263

Today, I was so happy to finally get my disabled parking badge but I was not prepared for the abuse from members of the public because I don’t "look disabled." Just this morning a woman refused to believe I have a prosthetic foot, and tried to make me pull up my pant leg to show her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 120

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 305

Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 386

Today, my dad started openly playing favorites among his kids, just to start drama. I had to warn my little sister - the favorite - that he was using her senior photos to do it. I'm gonna kill him, and get her a better dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 143

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 931

You deserved it 55 997