Intimacy: Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet... - FML

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 758

You deserved it 9 912

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 139

You deserved it 50 228

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Spicy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 706

You deserved it 9 334

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Spicy

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 4 027

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 043

You deserved it 9 041

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 278

By hdat - 11/06/2009 17:51 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 940

You deserved it 16 202

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 713

You deserved it 4 272

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 07:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Spicy

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 321

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 229

All I need to do…

By Dreamblocker - 28/06/2021 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 202

Next

Top comments

buddy51 23

Thursday 4 July 2013 11:29

Still a better love story than Twilight!

Wizardo 33

Thursday 4 July 2013 13:23

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie? I Cheddar the world and the Feta cheese. Everybody's looking for Stilton".

Comments

RivetingTaleChap 6

Thursday 4 July 2013 11:51

"It ain't easy being cheesy."

KBurns207 17

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:02

You too???

Wakachulak 22

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:07

You're hungry

buckdharma 36

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:10

Oh Velveeta, dear sweet Velveeta, yes, yes, yes.

KiddoKS 19

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:16

If you want to spice up your sex life, you can just add a few jalapeños!

naridelius 10

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:37

Sadly enough that isn't the worst fetish I've heard of or that exists for that matter. I would say you're just as messed up as us "normal" folks. Don't stress about it.

Steffi 26

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:42

Instead of going to a brothel like so many others, you can just go to a supermarket! ;D Just make sure to take the cheese home before doing anything.

brittyboo123 35

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:49

And the problem is?

Wizardo 33

Thursday 4 July 2013 13:23

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie? I Cheddar the world and the Feta cheese. Everybody's looking for Stilton".

patrickalamo 47

Thursday 4 July 2013 13:39

It ain't easy being cheesy.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 4 250

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, my dad answered his Skype call by insisting he wasn’t giving me any more money. Thing is, I had been about to ask for money, again. I tried to open a shop in the middle of a pandemic, and I’m 4 months late on rent and utilities. I ended the call so he wouldn’t see his grown son crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 336

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 269

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 118

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 117

You deserved it 3 881

Today, I was meeting up with my three best friends from high school. I spent the entire day and some money to plan a wild girls' night, only to find out their day ends in the afternoon. All three wear ankle bracelets and have a strict curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 259

Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 144