Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when...

By byepolar_bare - 19/12/2010 11:29 - United States

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 643

You deserved it 3 341

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Same thing different taste

By Fml - 22/04/2018 15:00

Today, a co-worker called in sick due to a family emergency. I ended up working an unplanned 12-hour overnight shift. After I clocked out, I dragged myself out to the parking lot to go home. Someone had smeared tacos all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 215

To top it off…

By leo - 22/01/2023 12:30

Today, my alarm turned itself off, leading to me sleeping in and showing up to work two hours late. Throughout the day, I kept on fumbling my words because my job requires me to speak mostly in my second language rather than my first, and I'm not great at it. On my way home from work, I backed into a pole with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 216

By Really? - 10/07/2010 14:57 - United States

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 851

You deserved it 6 418

By Username - 14/10/2010 19:02 - France

Today, I was called up about a job I'd recently applied for. I was overly excited to tell them I'd be there on Monday. Then I remembered I canceled my car insurance due to financial difficulties. I have no way of getting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 416

You deserved it 8 397

By M to the line - 11/01/2009 03:57 - France

Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that "We should do brunch every saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 075

You deserved it 32 494

By wherefelix - 03/07/2009 08:01 - United States

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 9 519

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 2 601

By yessssir - 09/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 4 941

By probablyfired - 25/07/2019 02:01

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 595

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 2 449

Lexisaurus 6

Sunday 19 December 2010 19:14

well have a very merry Christmas :)

youfailed18 0

Sunday 19 December 2010 19:15

Damn...

Comments

mrjmaster1234 0

Monday 20 December 2010 9:57

every on has this days, everybody.... u had a good day then???

mrjmaster1234 0

Monday 20 December 2010 10:01

thats exactly what i was thinking

iHateThisLife 10

Monday 20 December 2010 10:02

u must live in Oakland, Richmond or East LA.

DIESINBLOOD 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 17:01

Hey, I live in Oakland, shit like this doesn't happen everyday...Just 3 days a week -.-"

travis1980___ 0

Monday 20 December 2010 18:04

At least you have a girlfriend, and your day didn't end with finding out she cheated on you or anything.

zipzy 1

Wednesday 22 December 2010 1:16

now that is a bad day

awesomeguy21 0

Friday 24 December 2010 1:41

this is way too shitty to be real

jlumba 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 16:51

You said you got sick twice at work does that mean you puked twice or had a HUGE dump twice? Just a question because you can take it either way.

ThorneCrossed 9

Tuesday 21 June 2011 5:40

this is a break up short of being the most complete fml ever

ethang1996 0

Monday 4 July 2011 22:02

when he mentioned his girlfriend who else thought she was going to break up with him?

squirrel1215 5

Tuesday 22 November 2011 16:45

Hey, on the bright side...you have a girlfriend! Just tryin to look at the positives. =D

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 635

You deserved it 1 195

The Top

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 433

You deserved it 8 300

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 888

You deserved it 3 879

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 419

You deserved it 4 047

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 577

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 819

You deserved it 3 863

Today, as the weather is getting cold, I got my cozy fall sweater out of the closet. I soon realized I had left a candy bar in the pocket sometime last year, and it had melted all over the inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 527

Same thing different taste

To top it off…

Set the scene

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