Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room....

By leastitwasntsurpriseanal - 22/08/2014 20:26 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 382

You deserved it 3 504

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 4 321

Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 233

You deserved it 5 759

By wetqueefa - 03/02/2013 09:58 - United States - Union City

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 3 180

Private freakout

By emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 193

Spooked

By awkwardpartybear - 04/01/2014 23:43 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 852

You deserved it 17 637

By terdberglerforlyfe - 07/12/2014 20:54 - Brazil - Mogi Das Cruzes

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 811

You deserved it 4 398

Just a prank, bro

By iscreamforicecream - 01/06/2011 11:53 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 455

You deserved it 5 750

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 226

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 737

You deserved it 8 479

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 71 091

Dunmerdude 13

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:25

Best. Username. Ever.

mangasempai 11

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:27

I wouldn't put "mom" "scream" and "sex" in the same sentence. I have been scarred too many times...

Comments

redc 10

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:24

At least she's okay.

eleven22 11

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:28

She is not okay. something very serious has just happened on Sex and the City

Dunmerdude 13

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:25

Best. Username. Ever.

Chente_313 15

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:37

I totally agree

wizardcorn04 14

Saturday 23 August 2014 6:54

But that's the best kind!

ZY1431 24

Saturday 23 August 2014 9:03

Epic

Darknyan 10

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:25

That username is perfect.

fishyrael 28

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:25

I ******* love your username

mangasempai 11

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:27

I wouldn't put "mom" "scream" and "sex" in the same sentence. I have been scarred too many times...

tournamentdecide 33

Saturday 23 August 2014 6:23

What have you been put through?

Matt_Hazard 16

Saturday 30 August 2014 4:26

@31 Try Google Video searching those words, and you just might get a taste of what he's talking about.

glimmer980 20

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:28

That would be terrifying

SandyBella 17

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:28

Well that's one way to jump start your morning. Haha. Glad to know it wasn't anything serious.

ginger196 14

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:31

Well, at least it wasn't surprise anal

tournamentdecide 33

Saturday 23 August 2014 6:25

Why don't you take a look at the name of the FML, 27? That is the only reason they made that comment.

orbit 22

Saturday 23 August 2014 7:49

Judging by your down votes, they didn't want to look

tournamentdecide 33

Saturday 23 August 2014 8:34

Oh yes, because I'm an idiot for replying to a comment. Thanks for determining my intelligence level for me.

HersheySquirts 17

Saturday 23 August 2014 12:49

#40 Yep. You are.

keirookami 11

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:33

sounds like a very justified reason! sex and the city is very serious indeed

n3ophyt3 10

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:35

A twist in tale vs Surprise Anal At least now you the difference

junkman6 22

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:37

That sounds like a sex and the city episode.

junkman6 22

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:38

That sounds like a sex and the city episode title.

junkman6 22

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:39

Remove me!!! Double post.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 895

You deserved it 20 687

Today, I learned the news about Queen Elizabeth in the most awkward way possible. My friend suddenly came into my house and shouted, "THE QUEEN IS DEAD!" It scared me so badly that I spit my drink out all over his clothes. Then I took another drink and spit it out again when I realized who he was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 495

Today, I had my guy over for some sexy times. Things stopped before they even started. I watched him pick his nose then wipe it on my freshly changed sheets. He denied it when I called him out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 075

You deserved it 1 544

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 481

You deserved it 42 923

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 400

You deserved it 40 070

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 317

You deserved it 6 483

Same thing different taste

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