Intimacy: Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment...

FML for mobile
Free

By huh - 02/06/2012 20:31 - United Kingdom - Troon

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 2 638

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No place like home

By MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 302

You deserved it 4 416

Nice to see you

By eyegouger15 - 13/11/2015 16:32 - United States

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 015

You deserved it 2 613

By fucking hell my eyes burn - 23/05/2014 22:46 - Germany

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 370

You deserved it 6 008

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 817

You deserved it 10 439

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 108

You deserved it 2 485

Booze gone wrong

By Anonymous - 21/02/2017 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 772

You deserved it 744

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 659

You deserved it 4 133

By whattheshit - 26/11/2009 14:19 - United States

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 274

You deserved it 2 375

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 05:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 199

You deserved it 1 306

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 1 687

fireice22 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:16

Toy story?

ZX6Rninja 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:17

Sounds like they were the ones who had a glorious morning.

Comments

groupleader 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 13:43

Doesn't matter.....heard sex.

Briiyahh 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 13:51

Memories

goalieguru 1

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:06

No her dad is woodysgamertag from youtube!!!!!!

tj4234 35

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:16

Ah, got to love Scotland :D.

tj4234 35

Monday 4 June 2012 2:13

I take it the people who thumbed that down don't know where Ayrshire is?

havocmike 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:46

If you're old enough to brew coffee you're old enough to move out

babyshaft408 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 17:50

Awww ya mama getten dicked down

Swagoverdose 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 19:21

Woody? What a nice name to give to a dick....or is it a toy story action figure?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 3 June 2012 22:41

OMG she's assaulting the cowboy from Toy Story!!! :D I had to say it. Anyway, I doubt they would have noticed/heard you if you just snuck past their room to make your coffee. They were obviously preoccupied with something else... However, to all the people saying to move out, you don't know how old OP is. Some teens these days drink coffee, not just adults. And even if OP is an adult, it's very hard to make it on your own. The majority of college graduates are still living with their parents because they're thousands of dollars in debt with no way to pay it off. They don't have a choice; if they want to have a roof over their head, they have to stay at home because they can't afford to pay rent and utilities, plus buy food, pay for any insurance they might have, and pay back student loans. Get your facts straight.