Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my...

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

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Same thing different taste

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 4 060

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 23 397

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 66

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 794

You deserved it 3 110

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 844

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 932

You deserved it 5 119

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 71

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 341

You deserved it 2 405

garrettcodd 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:07

the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...

kingnate16 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:02

did u join him?

Comments

rodriguezequal 0

Friday 17 June 2011 8:12

I don't think you know what relentless means...

ELITEPUNK95 0

Friday 17 June 2011 10:13

get the hose ready, I think he ate mexican out of a trash can!!!

sarahgirly10 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:38

hobos are disgusting peices of shit. kill all of them

ImNoSuperman13 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 7:30

hahahaha! it was funny when i read it but when i imagind it i started busting out laughing

decade444 4

Friday 24 June 2011 3:26

I think I would falcon punch him off the

Musickal 16

Monday 4 July 2011 11:28

How does one shit... 'relentlessly'?

nickfraxer 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:47

There aren't even words...

Beanzie 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 7:05

This makes me laugh. Haha!!

Lookinforlove10 1

Saturday 5 November 2011 4:10

Wtf!? Why?...

Antonio0724 0

Friday 11 November 2011 2:44

Did he light it on fire afterwards?

Keywords

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Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 3 941

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 210

You deserved it 91 995

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 588

You deserved it 3 513

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed, and I said yes! Not even three hours later, I got a text message asking if we could just be friends instead. He won't tell me what changed, and doesn't feel like he owes me any explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 76

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 36

Today, as always, my boyfriend is better than me at everything, including skills that I have years of experience with, while he has none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 450

Today, I booked my car in for a service, with the intention of taking the courtesy bus to work. I got there at 8:45am, and the receptionist told me the courtesy bus was 10 minutes away. Work is 1.5km away, so I told my boss that I might be a couple of minutes late. Fifty minutes later, the bus came. I should've walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 149

Same thing different taste

There goes the neighborhood…

You OK dude?

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