Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where...

By mylifeisamovie - 28/02/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 58 786

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Same thing different taste

Lost

By James - 12/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Cirencester

Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 1 654

Legged it

By poserpilot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 940

You deserved it 6 818

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

By drunkennight - 23/11/2009 03:45 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 42 374

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 23:07 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 403

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 367

You deserved it 35 413

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 42 547

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 57 819

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 333

You deserved it 15 619

Stuck

By crap - 19/06/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 44 899

Cokebottlecrazy 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:37

Today, some drunkard passed out in my bar. I left him there and stole his shoes, only to find out they weren't my size. FML

Stupoopy 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 17:09

Why is that FML? Pick up where you left off.. Geez.

Comments

Stupoopy 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 17:09

Why is that FML? Pick up where you left off.. Geez.

gszmam 0

Friday 14 May 2010 3:46

second

bobdole 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 19:21

rock bottom

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 19:26

Better your shoes than your wallet

That_Guy 4

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:15

yeah this is just weird i've never heard of someone falling asleep at a bar...

rageandlove13 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 2:30

It could've been date rape.

teotsi 28

Monday 16 June 2014 19:42

OP passed out from drinking...

Cokebottlecrazy 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:37

Today, some drunkard passed out in my bar. I left him there and stole his shoes, only to find out they weren't my size. FML

k649 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 21:27

So they just let you sleep all night long when they weren't there?

mariasaur 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 22:42

This is a fake story, the bartender would kick you out.

Aviva1313 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 1:23

This is not necessarily fake. I have fallen asleep in a bar before but upstairs it was a hotel. The bartender had to sleep downstairs incase people back to their hotel after the bar was closed and let them in. He even gave me a pillow. I woke up at 7 in the morning to early risers all around me having breakfast. And then I had another beer...