Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where...

By mylifeisamovie - 28/02/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 58 786

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Lost

By James - 12/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Cirencester

Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 1 654

Legged it

By poserpilot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 940

You deserved it 6 818

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

By drunkennight - 23/11/2009 03:45 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 997

You deserved it 42 374

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 23:07 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 403

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 367

You deserved it 35 413

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 42 547

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 57 819

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 333

You deserved it 15 619

Stuck

By crap - 19/06/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 44 899

Cokebottlecrazy 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:37

Today, some drunkard passed out in my bar. I left him there and stole his shoes, only to find out they weren't my size. FML

Stupoopy 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 17:09

Why is that FML? Pick up where you left off.. Geez.

Comments

dahl7089 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:02

hahahaha im sorry that is hilarious

ODEEZY 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 20:31

sounds like 1 hell of a night... hopefully those shoes weren't jordan's or some gator boots...... XD

iwontusemyname 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:43

please get your act together. also, it may be helpful to wear ugly, inexpensive shoes?

FareweLLibra 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 16:15

That's a bit sloppy, to say the least.

nine90 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 3:26

STOP DRINKING

necomni 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 2:15

They didn't kick you out? That's nice, you had a place to sleep. :)

iceroyalty1984 14

Monday 9 March 2009 7:17

You need to go to bars where the employees are nicer! I passed out at a bar once and the bouncer (who was wearing a santa suit) carried me the entire way home, got me some water, took off my shoes and put them away, put me in bed, left, and checked on me in the morning!!!

member0987654321 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 3:49

#28 lmfao love the sarcasm serious like what is the bar suppose to do with someone when they pass out?

twotwelve 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:53

if nothing else, be lucky the bar didn't leave you outside to get robbed or killed and that they left you passed out. the least of your worries is a stolen pair of shoes. get your keys or your wallet, drive or call a cab, and go buy some new shoes if you're that upset about it. you could've lost your wallet, had your identity stolen, been raped, assaulted, and left for dead in a park. lost your shoes and woken up politely? i'd call that a win.