Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not...

By Sam - 18/01/2010 17:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 420

You deserved it 3 005

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Same thing different taste

What was I thinking?!

By Infadel - 22/07/2014 21:55 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 835

You deserved it 10 519

Mom! Stop!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 118

By uvagirl - 05/07/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 281

You deserved it 3 848

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 376

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 4 762

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 498

You deserved it 56 507

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 180

That stinks

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 02:00

Today, I Febrezed my one remaining suit because I haven’t had a chance to go to the dry cleaners yet. I Febrezed it over the bed, so some got on the sheets. My girlfriend then got home and hit me in the head with a vase, because she thought the Febreze on the sheets was another woman’s perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 209

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 2 448

Spunky

By grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 5 437

Maddoctor 10

Monday 18 January 2010 23:22

I smell a restraining order...

sparkey0127 0

Monday 18 January 2010 23:23

i'd second that sniff

Comments

Alernun 0

Friday 22 January 2010 20:52

...73 and 74, you're exactly what's wrong with this country. You know who could use the 400 dollar difference, 73? Haiti. Or maybe OP's family/bills. Jesus.

abbeyrios 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 22:28

I say u slap her

manstie 1

Sunday 24 January 2010 6:53

Nah, rape her.

InsomPsycho 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 21:29

I'm just trying to figure out why, on a day that you knew you had a job interview, you woke up after the garbage collectors had already made their rounds. Is there something you're leaving out? Maybe you woke up with a hangover? =]

hiddenpoet 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 2:56

least ur gfs back :D

thaaatgirl 4

Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:09

Daaaaaannnnng. Fyl.

charvisioku 22

Friday 5 April 2013 10:59

I'm more disturbed by the materialistic idiots commenting that a $200 suit is dirt cheap and it's no big deal than by the FML itself... people like that disgust me. Rather than spending $600 (wtf dude?) on a damn suit, how about you buy something useful with your money? More money than sense, some people...