Kids: Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow....

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 983

You deserved it 3 655

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 990

You deserved it 4 772

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 703

You deserved it 5 586

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 217

You deserved it 4 774

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 172

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 89

Fundies say the darndest things

By Lyle - 13/12/2020 01:07 - United Kingdom

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 116

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 846

You deserved it 4 781

By sumhub94 - 14/05/2013 16:48 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 667

You deserved it 3 921

By mommiedearest - 24/12/2015 16:06 - United States - Columbia

Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 830

You deserved it 1 837

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 2 394

asoep 4

Sunday 18 August 2013 19:36

run, run far away

Trivision 10

Sunday 18 August 2013 19:38

Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?

Comments

SatinsNightmares 17

Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:58

Maybe Steve's a ghost. Children can see 'em when everyone else can't lol. And I think you should have a talk with your son and Steve together lol.

guitarst1071995 12

Tuesday 20 August 2013 16:02

Some horror movie shit up in this place

alliemcilvaine 1

Wednesday 21 August 2013 19:41

watch the movie "Stevie" it's about a girl who has an imaginary friend named Stevie and Stevie tries to kill the family..

brendejafulable 41

Wednesday 21 August 2013 19:51

the ghost inside my child....

FroznInferno 9

Thursday 22 August 2013 13:30

the leprechaun told me to burn things...

milgie 2

Thursday 22 August 2013 18:02

Steve doesn't seem so imaginary after all

dillweed925 1

Friday 23 August 2013 0:07

I'm 100% sure your house is haunted and your son is talking to an actual person. Do some research on your house and I'm willing to bet money you will find out that someone named Steve lived there before you.

ThatBoredGuy 4

Sunday 25 August 2013 1:53

Shit !! Get a priest to your house !!

gardenlover 2

Sunday 25 August 2013 6:37

You're child is a blooming psychopath. Just do something about it before he starts hurting animals and humans. Some people just get stuck with the short end of the straw.