Kids: Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow....

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 987

You deserved it 3 656

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 996

You deserved it 4 773

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 709

You deserved it 5 586

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 225

You deserved it 4 776

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 159

You deserved it 4 174

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 92

Fundies say the darndest things

By Lyle - 13/12/2020 01:07 - United Kingdom

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 117

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 849

You deserved it 4 782

By sumhub94 - 14/05/2013 16:48 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 670

You deserved it 3 921

By mommiedearest - 24/12/2015 16:06 - United States - Columbia

Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 832

You deserved it 1 837

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 2 394

asoep 4

Sunday 18 August 2013 19:36

run, run far away

Trivision 10

Sunday 18 August 2013 19:38

Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?

Comments

emblondie 7

Monday 19 August 2013 8:30

Are you sure his name isn't Toby?

emeraldmaz 9

Monday 19 August 2013 8:31

Not to sensationalise or be a scare-monger, but if this reoccurs, then you may want to seek a professional assessment. Children with schizophrenia or other forms of psychosis/mental illness can often be overlooked because "everyone has an imaginary friend," and there's a stigma about it. However, not everyone has harmful imaginary friends, telling them to do harmful things, and things can get worse. If "Steve" starts scaring your son, or he feels like "Steve" is going to hurt him, or make him do things he doesn't want to do, that's a huge warning sign. Then again, it could also be nothing, and he's just having a bit of a play.

streetracerVC 9

Monday 19 August 2013 8:37

im more worried about your title

Mh2120 1

Monday 19 August 2013 9:16

Oh no! If Steve is not helping with the rent, he gots to go!

incoherentrmblr 21

Monday 19 August 2013 9:27

It's always a guy named Steve.

incoherentrmblr 21

Monday 19 August 2013 9:29

...and it's Steve from Blue's Clues...

Reaper5639 16

Monday 19 August 2013 10:08

Got to love these crazy FML's hahaha

SinfulEnd 20

Monday 19 August 2013 11:12

Okay, sweety, I hate to do this, but its time you fend for yourself... Mommy will be... away...

BriannaMGK 15

Monday 19 August 2013 13:12

Better get your hands on some holy water! Steve gets to go bye bye!

Huddisher 10

Monday 19 August 2013 14:02

I may be watching too many paranormal shows, but when a five year old shows up next you to with a pillow while you're sleeping, then tells you that you have to go back to sleep for a "game" by an "imaginary friend" named Steve, I think you should look into the history of your house.