Kids: Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother... - FML

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 992

You deserved it 4 772

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Same thing different taste

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 705

You deserved it 5 586

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 790

You deserved it 6 132

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 985

You deserved it 3 655

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 219

You deserved it 4 774

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 4 719

By Anonymous - 22/10/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 394

You deserved it 2 992

Back-seat parenting

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 14:00

Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 571

You deserved it 3 128

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 982

You deserved it 3 354

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 156

You deserved it 4 173

Next

Top comments

amadeclton 27

Monday 3 November 2014 0:07

Time for counseling?

Marie54321 19

Monday 3 November 2014 0:07

Sounds like the beginnings of a serial killer...

Comments

Sakuraashita 15

Monday 3 November 2014 0:13

Maybe you snore, OP?

Ohshitdude 21

Monday 3 November 2014 0:14

Your kid hates you.

Googolman 29

Monday 3 November 2014 0:15

Time for boot camp.

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 3 November 2014 0:16

Time to get him some help.

wondercat40 28

Monday 3 November 2014 0:22

That's one heck of a temper tantrum

siggy_mcsigx 22

Monday 3 November 2014 0:33

Yikes. Best to get that checked out. A few weeks ago a 10 year old kid bludgeoned his grandma to death in her bed.

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 3 November 2014 6:22

Bludgeoned? ****, what the shit did the kid use?

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 3 November 2014 7:55

The grandmother's cane and the kid's bare hands.

yumyumpower 16

Monday 3 November 2014 0:40

Omg what did you do ?!!

MeanBeagle 22

Monday 3 November 2014 0:44

is there a happy way yo smother with a pillow?

brand125 17

Monday 3 November 2014 0:55

if you're completly psycho and do it with a smile on your face while laughing, then yes.

Dylanluvsyou101 5

Monday 3 November 2014 0:50

Serial Killer on the rise?

ethan_unoxx 29

Monday 3 November 2014 0:59

Ask him why he is doing that to you. If it happens repeatedly for a while, get help from anger management.

imura 8

Monday 3 November 2014 4:46

someone trying to kill someone is not anger management. trying to kill someone is being a psychopath. the sooner we learn this the sooner we can het back to teaching this kid proper techniques

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Am I overreacting? Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 136

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 299

The Top

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 234

Today, I had a parent come in for a conference. When she stepped into my classroom, she immediately went on a rant about how I’m "woke indoctrinating" her child and threatened to homeschool her. She then stormed out. I had a rainbow chart of the colors and a poster of multicolored hands. I teach 1st grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 191

Today, there was a snowstorm in Denmark. I had a job interview, but because of the weather, the buses were delayed, and I had to wait more than an hour in the freezing cold. When I finally got there, I was told the person I was supposed to talk to hadn't been able to make it in today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 37

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 014

You deserved it 20 796

Today, I was talking to this really nice guy who likes me, and he tells me he's packing. I asked him where he was going, he said Puerto Rico. And I said "LUCKY!" He replied "it's for the funeral". I forgot his grandma had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 62 047

Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 251

You deserved it 340