Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few...

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 906

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 408

You deserved it 3 899

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 367

You deserved it 5 212

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 996

You deserved it 3 007

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 413

You deserved it 19 720

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 059

You deserved it 4 732

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 6 556

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By noooo - 08/08/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 022

You deserved it 2 707

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 23 084

DahkLohd 4

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:01

Creepy.

MyNameIsBruce 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 0:20

Shut up. You tried to do it to Harry a few years back.

Comments

surge_408 0

Friday 28 January 2011 9:17

well arent you lucky! i dont see how that would be a fml moment. ;)

k9obsessed 5

Friday 28 January 2011 10:27

I believe it would be time to find a new roommate.

Teenaaluv 0

Friday 28 January 2011 14:54

lol yes!!

jake_pdx 0

Friday 28 January 2011 20:37

Yesss

jake_pdx 0

Friday 28 January 2011 20:40

correct

meeba 2

Friday 28 January 2011 22:01

how is this FML unless u are afraid of vaginas

iBeast10 1

Saturday 29 January 2011 1:02

agreed.

Travis420 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 1:16

thats hot

snizzlesnuzzle 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 2:12

I would get a new living arrangement. that's terrifying.

mrbeastmode 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 2:57

^ that's what my comment was meant for my friend is very beautiful and so is she and all the trolls can go die.

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I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 60

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

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I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 6 971

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I agree, your life sucks 15 189

You deserved it 1 124

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I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 107

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 3 273

Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 161

Today, I was looking at dating profiles with my single friend, trying to find a guy for her, and we found my husband's profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 355

You deserved it 1 850

Same thing different taste

Creeped out

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