Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few...

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 906

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 408

You deserved it 3 899

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 366

You deserved it 5 212

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 996

You deserved it 3 007

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 413

You deserved it 19 720

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 4 732

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 6 554

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By noooo - 08/08/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 022

You deserved it 2 707

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 23 084

DahkLohd 4

Wednesday 26 January 2011 22:01

Creepy.

MyNameIsBruce 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 0:20

Shut up. You tried to do it to Harry a few years back.

Comments

mrbeastmode 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 5:03

^exactly I was just saying that nerdsgetmehot looks like my friend and I think both o them are beautiful so yeh

shelbie8timer 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 6:31

yesss I thought the same thing

Silent_dream 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 7:05

#164 that's an awesome movie!

Chimbimba123 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 7:08

are you a girl? if not, love to be you lol

rockon10 3

Saturday 29 January 2011 8:39

fake.

surferchick96 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 13:38

i love that the name here is "123roomielover"

jlott58 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 14:49

that make me wanna f^ck her

olbrocko 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:16

movie rental: single white female

nmw404 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 17:51

is she hot?

iCrazie 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 21:03

why such the long nose?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 686

The Top

Today, I found out one of my "friends" is “scared” to talk to me because I’m black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 124

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 216

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 479

You deserved it 3 834

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 109

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 925

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 5 334

Same thing different taste

Creeped out

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