Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

By mymomsstupid - 29/06/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 176

You deserved it 3 741

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 3 154

By kennedygeeee - 08/09/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 281

You deserved it 2 648

By abygalee - 10/07/2016 20:42 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 012

You deserved it 721

By why.mom - 21/08/2019 00:01

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 170

What did you do?

By Wtmcisdis - 10/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Douglasville

Today, my mom had me arrested in the most humiliating way ever, in my nightgown, with no bra. She pushed me out her vagina, and now her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 401

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 157

You deserved it 4 856

By jhulich - 24/12/2013 20:48 - Sweden - H?gersten

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 723

You deserved it 3 286

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 292

You deserved it 3 230

By asdf - 02/02/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 315

You deserved it 2 824

nubx 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:00

So mother doesn't know best?

Mrrevorp 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:01

ooooooh looks like you're on your own for breakfast huh?

Comments

care_bear_hugs 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 9:24

fyl?? fhl shit

izzy7 11

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:56

Leave her there.

VandalHeartX 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 14:09

AAAAAAAAND?!?!?

MyS3lf 24

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:26

I feel your pain. Both my brothers and I have had to go bail my Dad out of jail at least once, it sucks.

WesRebirth 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 17:00

did she step out of the kitchen again?

daydreamer244 13

Thursday 30 June 2011 20:41

well the good news is now she won't be bossing you around to do stuff for her ;)

whitewhale81 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 23:20

hey dont worry about it i have had this happen to me too lol

allthatremains25 0

Friday 1 July 2011 5:06

from the looks of OP's username, it doesn't seem like that much of a FML for OP.

YouFailForLife 7

Friday 1 July 2011 6:41

OH CMON! How is this an FML? Have the people who moderated this, never seen the show "Cops"?

luccers18 4

Friday 1 July 2011 20:47

with an OP name like tht...

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Gross Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Cars Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 121

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 077

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 386

You deserved it 3 341

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 743

You deserved it 5 724

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 761

Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 312

You deserved it 504

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 870

You deserved it 11 295

Today, my temp agency sent me out for an interview for a great job. The interviewer and I hit it off. She asked if I could start later today. She said she'd call after making up a contract. She didn't call. My temp agency called to tell me the interviewer was fired right after my interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 368

You deserved it 2 503

Same thing different taste

What did you do?

Denial

Top comments

Comments