Animals: Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs....

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 3 756

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Same thing different taste

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 599

You deserved it 8 495

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 521

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 615

You deserved it 7 921

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 3 358

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 261

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 799

You deserved it 5 322

Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 233

You deserved it 5 759

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 831

lex1459 38

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:30

Honestly, I don't see a better solution than the one your boyfriend found.

theKevmeister 13

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:29

You're lucky he didn't try to burn down the house...

Comments

Schala360 27

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:36

He has been to Nopesville and lived to tell the tale

TypicalSenpai 14

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:39

Probably regrettable after a while..... haha who am I kidding? This is genius.

jtthegr8 26

Saturday 20 June 2015 19:43

Regrettable after they have to post bail, and fix bullet holes in their house. I wouldn't know though because I've never shot a tarantula before.

hellnosucka 27

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:40

he spida tarantula! naturally, his web of thoughts lead him to shoot it in the face.

tiggerdoc 14

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:42

And this is why smart legal gun owners always catch hell.... Idiot..

gosh_mate 30

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:51

Well I'm Australian so I think you're all crazy haha

amileah13 26

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:53

I would react the same way. Both on your part and your boyfriends!

igg125 30

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:56

I would have smashed it with my boot and grabbed a beer.

Ichiya 29

Saturday 20 June 2015 14:34

I would have captured it in a container and found a person who could either care for it or move it to a safer locale.

Kristen320 21

Saturday 20 June 2015 9:59

That man is a keeper! If he can kill a spider, he'll protect you from an actual burglar!

FitFriday 32

Saturday 20 June 2015 19:38

That's actually if he killed it. We still don't know if we did or not

Hunkapoo 19

Saturday 20 June 2015 10:02

a spider Is a small target though, especially if it's moving. Get some steel toe boots!

katydid91 31

Saturday 20 June 2015 10:27

The post said Tarantula.

danielhartlesss 13

Saturday 20 June 2015 13:39

A tarantula is a pretty big spider, though. Regardless of its size, you can't miss at close range with birdshot

Hunkapoo 19

Saturday 20 June 2015 20:11

it depends on how close you get, and I'm sure most people don't get near a tarantula, so it can be easily missed, but it sounds like OPs boyfriend got it thankfully.