Perhaps it isn't that OP doesn't see a future with him. Some people say no to an engagement for a multitude of reasons, you know. A couple to name are commitment issues or just quite simply not feeling ready yet, though you still love the person.

Thats what im saying :- if I turned down a proposal I would be hesitant to stay with them.

30, I didn't say it's impossible. If you'd read my comment properly I said maybe it's weird to ME because I've never heard of a case like this. I still find it incredibly weird. Maybe take a little time off from the relationship? It seems too soon (just a month) to be sleeping again with a guy whom you refused an engagement ring from. Engagement is a pretty deal and "no" is what every guy fears so I feel sorry for the guy in this situation.

I don't see why someone wouldn't "be ready" to get married if they are already in a committed relationship. Being married makes the legal part of living together a lot easier. It sounds like OP has commitment issues. So in that case, **** her boyfriends life! OP should get over it and marry her boyfriend if she loves him and sees a future there. If she doesn't see a future at all, she should stop leading the guy on.

But she has made no suggestion about the quality or length or even the commitment of the relationship. It might only have been on for three months, they might only be quite young, one or the other might still rely on their parents or be unemployed or still be studying. There was not enough space in the FML to describe WHY she turned down the engagement. I, for one, refused to get engaged to my fiance until we were both in a place where neither of us were reliant on anyone else, be it family or state, for anything, when we had finished our educations and were working in careers rather than 'jobs'. If people are not living an independent, adult life then how can they make an independent, adult commitment?

Seriously, 57? There are so many reasons why people who love each other and are in committed relationships don't get married. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and love each other a ton, but getting married now would be stupid because he's graduating college this year and doesn't know where his job will take him, and I still have another year of university to go. It doesn't mean we're not committed to each other; sometimes getting married actually makes things more complicated.

My point is: if he went and bought an engagement ring and proposed to her, something she said or about the way she acted led him to do so. I'm not ready to get married either but I know my partner knows this and that I'm not ready to be engaged. It's a pretty serious thing. Either the guy is seriously desperate (in which case the girl should move on) or they need to work on their communication problems if they want to make it last. And by the sounds of this FML, they REALLY do have some serious issues with communication.

128- Still being in college or not knowing where a job will take you really shouldn't determine weather or not you get married. Marriage isn't a material thing. It depends on love, commitment, patience, so on and so forth. If you and your boyfriend have decided to not get married until everything becomes "easy" in life, that's your deal. But don't encourage that to others because that is seriously not the best option for most situations.

137- It absolutely should! If he gets a job across the country after college, we'd rarely get to see each other for at least a year, maybe more depending on where I get a job after graduation. If we find a long-term distance relationship doesn't work for us, it's certainly a lot easier to break up than it is to get divorced, not to mention cheaper. Getting married simply doesn't make sense in some situations, regardless of the connection two people might share. I know a couple in their fifties that have been together for over 10 years, but they're not going to get married because if they do, the man will lose his disability payments and the woman's job is not enough to support them both. Marriage is a case-by-case thing, it's extremely serious, and should by no means be rushed into just because two people love each other.

The 'legal part of marriage' is not the only or in fact the most important part - and you may not be 100% sure if you want to marry them yet so isn't it better to say no and wait until you are then to say yes and have to break it off?

Nope... To get married in the states, all you have to do is sign a piece of paper. All the other stuff is optional!

Just because someone in the relationship isn't ready to get married doesn't mean they have to break up. They can still stay together and see if things change in the future.

He could actually have meant that he loved her when he proposed, dude. Just because she said no the first time, that doesn't mean that it's time to call it quits. She obviously has feelings for him if they are/were still together afterwards.

No, I think she was just making the point that she had already rejected his proposal before this incident. It doesn't sounds like thus has anything to do with the ring, just him being sneaky.