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By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 096

You deserved it 29 891

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Same thing different taste

Chapped out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 09:28 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 096

You deserved it 2 522

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 539

You deserved it 5 376

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 1 414

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 990

You deserved it 2 747

Real dream

By kaley - 14/12/2019 03:00

Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 754

You deserved it 361

By leosmom - 25/11/2018 03:00

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 1 274

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 278

You deserved it 6 614

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 701

Pranks should be outlawed

By hannah - 30/09/2023 04:00

Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 109

By 2classicNot2 - 09/04/2011 07:52 - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 779

You deserved it 34 936

collegegirl8 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:36

how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?

mylifesucks52 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:37

you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol

Comments

takran 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:03

#1, #110, #112 pretty much sum up my thoughts.

BrannFYR 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:44

OP - you are a liar. There is no way to confuse chapstick with a sharpie. That's like confusing a shotgun with a hamburger.

heeystefi_fml 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:58

agree with 112

Memily_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 2:04

I know that when I'm out of it, I don't know what's going on. If my lips were chapped, I'd probably think that I just needed Chap Stick in a dream. And I'd have no problem with thinking Sharpies were Chap Sticks. When you're dreaming, you don't always piece everything together.

cinnamania 3

Wednesday 22 April 2009 23:58

Wow. Hopefully it wasn't some obnoxious color :)

bucketgirl 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 6:56

I'm all for #112. Also, who keeps their purse by their bed? Makes me ask some other questions about this slightly shady post.

taylipn 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 17:52

how does it feel like a sharpie? =S

crazyweirdo101 0

Friday 24 April 2009 1:55

K I know everyone else has already said it but honestly HOW DO YOU MESS THAT UP???? Sharpie cap is nothing like the cap of lip chap

rainydays09 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 21:56

MAKE-UP!!!

shizzler 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 19:12

i call fake because like everybody said, sharpie and chapstick don't feel the same at all, but above all how many OP's have job interviews? Seems like every third FML has something to do with a job interview