Work: Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed,...

By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 089

You deserved it 29 884

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Same thing different taste

Chapped out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 09:28 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 087

You deserved it 2 522

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 1 410

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 984

You deserved it 2 747

Real dream

By kaley - 14/12/2019 03:00

Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 358

By leosmom - 25/11/2018 03:00

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 1 267

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 612

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Pranks should be outlawed

By hannah - 30/09/2023 04:00

Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 98

By 2classicNot2 - 09/04/2011 07:52 - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 34 930

collegegirl8 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:36

how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?

mylifesucks52 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:37

you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol

Comments

gardensun11 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:03

you put sharpie on chapped irritated lips then went back to sleep? and a sharpie marker didnt burn? BS

Bunbu 8

Monday 20 April 2009 0:08

It comes off, dumbass.

lowcapacityx 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:10

I don't know how you couldn't tell when you touched the sharpie. When you opened the sharpie you couldn't smell it either? O_O You need to work on both of your sense.

jewel5 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:32

Haha, am I the only one with a "Great Lips, Buy Now!" lip cream advertisement on the side of this FML? :]

Nemo89 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:43

You'd think you would have noticed when you lips were still chapped.... But how is that even remotely possible! Sharpies smell strong as hell... I seriously hope you were drunk when this happened...

cantth1nk0fnam3 3

Monday 20 April 2009 1:05

i don't understand why your chapped lips would be the first thing you'd think about when you wake up but ok

lady4 0

Monday 20 April 2009 1:23

HOW THE **** DO YOU MISTAKE A SHARPIE WITH A CHAPSTICK?? FAKE!!

mutantcow 0

Monday 20 April 2009 2:22

agree with #10 >< you must be super duper blind, and also incapable of smelling.

xFusionBluex 0

Monday 20 April 2009 3:05

it'll come off... permenant markers never stay permanent unless it's tattoo that has been embedded into your skin. rub like crazy and you will have red lips... no need for lips stick... although.. how did you NOT smell the sharpie and mistaken it so easily for chapstick...