Love: Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming...

By Noname - 14/03/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 452

You deserved it 213 124

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 034

You deserved it 600

By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 07:10 - United States - Queens Village

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 4 062

Random Ass Memory

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 11:01

Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 4 054

By horribleday - 20/06/2017 09:00 - United States - Ozark

Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 720

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 911

You deserved it 39 477

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 970

You deserved it 3 693

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 105

WhatsApp drama

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 02:00

Today I found out my husband was throwing a 50th surprise party for me, and no one RSVP'd because of my best friend starting arguing with everyone in a group text. This was going to be the first big party or surprise party that I'd ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 111

No means no, Deborah

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my birthday. A month ago, I'd told everyone I invited to my party that it was going to be adults only. One of my friends brought her kids with her anyway, then started screaming and trashing the place when I politely asked her to leave. The cops had to be called to finally get her out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 114

Damp squib

By Sorry Phil - 07/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, I was throwing a surprise birthday party for my friend. As we all hid in the dark waiting for him to arrive, I unexpectedly sneezed so loudly that I scared everyone, and they jumped out before he had even finished unlocking the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 136

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:02

I hope you're exaggerating when you say you actually yelled at him for that.

fmlsarah 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:03

sucks to be married to you...

Comments

MetalCraze 11

Friday 12 June 2009 14:09

your husband is awesome your a a heartless ****

xFenix81x 0

Monday 15 June 2009 0:21

If i was him, i would have spin-slapped you clear out of the front window.

Kebbles8891 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 4:58

i thought i was an asshole...

Dinglenuts 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 2:52

I think it would be best for everybody here if you were to be found tomorrow hanging in your garage. Yelling at a man on his birthday is not only unacceptable, but it's degrading and embarrassing. You should be lucky you have such a generous man (though I don't know WHY the hell he would want to be near you AT ALL let alone propose). If you're looking for sympathy, look it up because the Internet is harsh and cruel, yet nowhere near your capabilities. As for all the "protectors", I'll hand you some rope as well and you can feel free to join Bitchy McSaggytits.

woahmandi 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 12:12

i love how in this fml you're married.. but in the one above it from you, your christian BOYFRIEND broke up with you because you're athiest. you seriously are a stupid mother ******. get a ******* life. in the past 10 minutes i've read probably over ten others from you.

kellyissmelly 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:29

Are you ******** me? You seriously don't think Noname is a real person do you? Holy crap, get a life and try to know what you're talking about befor you tell someone off.

BrEnNo1023 5

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:21

yes. i have seen 4 completely different stories from Noname all posted on practically the same day. One minute she's someone's atheist ex-girlfriend, next she's grounded through facebook, now she's yelling at her husband. weirdness

pentameter 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 6:26

Hahaha, you're a dumbass! If you don't fill out the "nickname" form while submitting an FML, your nickname is automatically noname. Wow, you guys are ******* stupid.