Work: Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities...

By Anonymous - 22/12/2014 07:53 - United States - Mooresville

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 647

You deserved it 2 522

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Same thing different taste

By truth - 10/02/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 318

You deserved it 2 191

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 462

Let me out!

By Anonymous - 21/03/2016 21:26 - United States - Depew

Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 924

You deserved it 1 534

Territorial pissings

By Ribonuke211 - 12/08/2020 02:02

Today, I was menaced by a shirtless crackhead with an aluminum bat for, "parking in the wrong parking lot" - not parking spot, parking LOT - while delivering pizza to one of many nearby apartment buildings. I'm not allowed to carry a weapon to defend myself, unless I wanna shell out $75 for a Mag flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 531

You deserved it 5 067

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 2 531

Women be shopping

By Krule - 04/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Redding

Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 505

By Anonymous - 10/06/2018 01:30

Today, the only parking spot available at the supermarket had some shopping carts in it, so I got out of my car and moved them. As soon as I finished, a lady stole the spot. When I confronted her, she maced me with pepper spray and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 274

You deserved it 342

Where's my stuff?

By freezingtodeath - 04/12/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I went into Target's dressing rooms to try some pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 706

You deserved it 22 971

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 1 605

Econforthwin 15

Monday 22 December 2014 17:40

I would ditch the high visibility vest and go full ninja cart wrangler mode.

countryb_cth 38

Monday 22 December 2014 17:43

Have fun. Just remember you can do some serious damage with a cart :)

Comments

gigglegigglesnor 13

Tuesday 23 December 2014 8:15

You have the right to refuse any unsafe work.

TRexYouUp 8

Tuesday 23 December 2014 8:43

Hope you equipped yourself with a baseball bat as well.

DemonSpectre 11

Tuesday 23 December 2014 9:26

stick a box cutter in your back pocket just in case

Hangryko 31

Thursday 19 May 2022 19:03

I really hope you refused.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 197

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

The Top

Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 700

Today, I introduced a charming American girl to the local gastronomy. She said the wine was good but tingled slightly. It was Whisky-Cola. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 69

Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 1 600

Today, I wore my first thong, which I bought weeks ago but was only just now brave enough to wear. As I was leaving, my little brother decided I really needed a wedgie. The thong garrotted my bum hole and I now have toilet paper up there because it won't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 041

You deserved it 510

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

Today, my very financially stable grandparents bought my girlfriend and I two first class tickets on Air Emirates, which to me is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To my dismay, my colon did not approve of the peanuts and I spent the whole flight shitting out what seemed to be molten rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 223