Miscellaneous: Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking...

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 801

You deserved it 3 906

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 692

You deserved it 4 336

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 2 979

By Raw95 - 15/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 891

You deserved it 24 592

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 268

You deserved it 8 190

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 490

You deserved it 6 180

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 821

Drive by shooting

By justicewargrave - 16/07/2021 02:01

Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 326

You deserved it 4 540

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 12 789

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 6 087

KikuHonda 3

Friday 21 August 2009 12:09

o__________o what a creep.

FreddyLunch 0

Friday 21 August 2009 12:08

You just got Fritzel'd

Comments

AmyBeth 0

Friday 21 August 2009 18:32

Well, at least he didn't do that! :D

kevind23 0

Friday 21 August 2009 18:35

Right, because straight men have never, ever raped women before. Go **** yourself, captain douchebag.

skullbuster 0

Friday 21 August 2009 18:41

That was more than 10 words...FAIL pimpin88!

CourtneyDanielle_fml 9

Friday 21 August 2009 18:42

Are you his paper boy xD

lologirl419 0

Friday 21 August 2009 18:49

Yes, but at least it wasn't an essay...

whoababy55 0

Friday 21 August 2009 18:59

hahahaha. this made my day imagining the grandfather from charlie&the chocolate factory doing that to adam lambert. yeah, i'm random. :P for some reason i didnt even think about herbert.

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 21 August 2009 19:04

Hot.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Friday 21 August 2009 19:04

I think the old guy was just joking, but it's still an FML. This being said, what's with all the brainless twats going "omg pedo!!" ?! There's NO INDICATION that OP is underage AT ALL. (If he was, I think that would have been mentioned), so that makes the old guy a psycho for sure (if he was serious about the basement thing), but not AT ALL a pedo. Wanting to rape adults doesn't makes you a pedo, just a regular rapist!

whatever2304 0

Friday 21 August 2009 19:14

*cringes. ewwwwwwww

jolar1 0

Friday 21 August 2009 19:33

pimpin88 is adorable. He may talk tough but on the inside, isn't he just as scared and confused about this crazy world as the rest of us? He's like a baby deer who has lost her mother. We're all here for you, lost baby deer that is named pimpin88.