Animals: Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could...

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 442

You deserved it 79 629

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Same thing different taste

Great opener

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 20:14 - United States - Champlin

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 679

You deserved it 29 309

Right in the kisser

By Anonymous - 08/03/2020 20:17

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 15:21 - United States - Dunkirk

Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 701

You deserved it 944

By missTyfied - 25/08/2012 19:11 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 191

You deserved it 3 507

Because of him

By whytho - 19/11/2019 03:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 491

You deserved it 365

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 226

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 187

You deserved it 40 099

Damn

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 241

You deserved it 55 505

Stay safe, stay home

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 05:30

Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 216

By Mr. E - 14/11/2018 17:30

Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 897

You deserved it 196

OcampoFTW 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!

GigaPudding_fml 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

What do you do with your dogs...?

Comments

koverton91 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:35

You totally deserved

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:38

i tried to f**k your mum in the ass i tried to f**k your dad in the ass could only find the dog.... and his ass

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:41

double comment sorry guys. feel free to delete this, FML team

AllForMyGirl 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:47

Wow bro easy with the animal stuff... youre freaking me out :| jk lol that was Great hahah

Wheredidgrungego 12

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:54

....so what was the answer?

Lil_Killah 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:57

Why would u ask that?

StopDropNRoll 11

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:05

Your just not looking at it right. You are now the most popular kid at school. Bet everyone is talking about you champ ^_^

itaimumwiro 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:21

why the **** did u ask

SexyQueen0905 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:22

Hey after a question like that, I'm sure I would never forget you're name.

Sp00nerism 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:26

We have google for a reason OP

IGotNippleRings 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:27

Why the hell would you ever need to know that?

jennt89 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:30

Can you?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 485

You deserved it 38 931

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

The Top

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 021

You deserved it 2 917

Today, the week-long debate in my Senior Composition class reached a new height. A student brought in a special map and a globe to "prove" that the Earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 809

You deserved it 314

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 4 289

Today, I went round to see a friend who recently had a heart attack and was finding it difficult to shop for herself. She complained about the food being "too healthy" and wanted bags of chips and frozen rubbish instead. Her being overweight directly caused her heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 122

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 435

You deserved it 6 676

Today, I was eating pizza and I started bitching about how our campus doesn't have any healthy food choices, and that I was forced to eat this disgusting, greasy pizza. My friend then pointed out that I was standing next to the salad bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 3 555