Miscellaneous: Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their...

By pleasekillme - 19/04/2013 11:44 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 130

You deserved it 4 468

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since one of my roommates moved out. Despite me telling the postal service he no longer lives here, they're still knocking on my door almost every day with urgent letters addressed to him. I have no idea where he lives now, and am wondering what the fuck he was up to here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 75

Man cave

By Anonymous - 04/10/2023 04:00

Today, it's been about two months since I made my husband sleep in the spare room after an argument. I invited him back to our room after two nights but he refused. Since then he’s moved a TV, Xbox, fridge and new armchair into the spare room, and put a lock on the door only he has a key for. I’ve barely seen him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 1 985

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 2 892

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 752

You deserved it 1 658

Get out of there, fast

By LeaveMeAlone - 23/02/2021 22:56

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 002

You deserved it 1 133

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 100

Unrequited and stuck

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 02:00

Today, I'm crushing so hard on my male roommate that I've basically become a doormat for him. Meanwhile, he's on the phone for hours with the pretty girl he met over Tinder. I feel pathetic, stupid and jealous, which I have no right to be. Worst part, we're still quarantined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 778

By screwedhousemate - 28/03/2011 11:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 921

You deserved it 4 283

By Charles Pennington - 22/11/2011 11:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 875

You deserved it 3 372

datoismyname 22

Friday 19 April 2013 18:43

I think it's time for you to move.

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 19 April 2013 18:43

Call the police. Nothing good is going to come out of letting this slide.

Comments

therascalqueen 3

Friday 19 April 2013 22:31

OP, please take this seriously. He sounds very dangerous. You and your roommate might want to move out. Please read up on intimate partner violence.

CreepInTheCorner 11

Friday 19 April 2013 23:09

Get out of there, OP

Quiet_one 22

Friday 19 April 2013 23:39

I noticed you signed your name as "pleasekillme." In all seriousness, if you don't get away from this creep he just might. The same goes for your other housemate. Get out of there now.

oh_lordy_me 18

Friday 19 April 2013 23:47

New housemates?

SooInnLovee 6

Friday 19 April 2013 23:55

yeah that's why you should definitely do a background check and psych evaluation on future roommates and make a rule that no roommates can date each other to spare the awkwardness and in this case, this crazy-obsessiveness ha!

dancinwookie 21

Saturday 20 April 2013 0:23

How DARE you trick him like that, you thoughtless b!tch! He sounds like a bag of crazy. Good luck with that, OP.

iluvpeanutbutter 22

Saturday 20 April 2013 0:36

You don't screw the crew. This is why.

awesome64760 16

Saturday 20 April 2013 0:55

So you censor **** but not *******?

Angel1000168 16

Saturday 20 April 2013 1:16

'*******' is used a lot more regularly than '****'. Females may find '****' offensive (I know I do) due to its negative connotation. That, my friend, is why she sensored '****' and not '*******'.

dancinwookie 21

Saturday 20 April 2013 9:31

Exactamundo.

kkamp516 10

Saturday 20 April 2013 10:19

Hey, ****.

Lehk 9

Saturday 20 April 2013 1:16

give him the option of leave right now this weekend or be charged with attempted rape.

ScarlieC 25

Saturday 20 April 2013 1:44

OP, tell your housemate, go to the police together and both of you move. Please. This guy is dangerous. He's picking locks to get to her, he will become worse. He'll start using violence soon. Worst part is is that he'll not realise that what he's doing is wrong. My ex was like that after he broke up with me. He went from ringing the doorbell for a whole night to picking locks, sneaking in and trying to lie beside me in bed, in just 3 months time. Turns out he was psychotic and thought that 'we could work things out' if he could make me realize that we were meant to be. Please OP, get yourself and your housemate out of there.