Miscellaneous: Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story...

By apple - 16/07/2010 19:38 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 656

You deserved it 6 271

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Same thing different taste

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 182

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 130

Alanis Morissette reference

By mei-ah - 12/06/2021 00:01

Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 101

By loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 013

You deserved it 52 128

By MrDisgrace - 17/09/2017 13:00

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 374

Dumpy baby

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 196

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 578

You deserved it 3 420

By areyoukiddingme - 07/09/2013 04:50 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 3 272

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 04/09/2022 17:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 498

By Anonymous - 21/07/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 710

You deserved it 2 778

angelfaced59 0

Friday 16 July 2010 23:24

haha that sounds like my mom haha

hahaiseeyou 0

Friday 16 July 2010 23:26

you should have a little talk with your mother

Comments

JokeMeister 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 4:16

And that was YOUR MOM?! I know you're proud.

tayy__13 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 4:27

Bahaha you have a very nice Mom..(= FYl.

Cherrymamacita 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 4:55

Happy Birthday :) well... that was a nice 18th birthday gift lol jk

XxFallenbladexX 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 5:24

Not rly a happy birthday..I can't believe your mom flipped u the bird lol

summergrl11 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 5:27

halfway sounds like something my mom would do

xSarahBaabyx94 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 5:51

65- ha, never (:

orangecarrots 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 6:28

Happy Birthday :DD If that happened to me, I wouldn't stand for it, joking or not :(

cattongue 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 8:02

what story were you tellin your friends? o_O

Omnigeek6 1

Saturday 17 July 2010 8:15

Biggest bitch on the planet. Do not let her do shit let that ever again.

Shopaholic69137 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 8:21

what an immature and bitchy mom.

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The Top

Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 472

You deserved it 9 839

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 761

You deserved it 4 524

The Top

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 978

You deserved it 6 229

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 545

You deserved it 8 959

Today, I cleaned my entire house. Ready for a fresh finishing touch in the bedroom, I grabbed the Febreze and lightly sprayed over my clean bedding, carpeting, and clothing. Then a pungent odor hit me. It seems someone forgot to label the bottle when they filled it with vinegar instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 145

You deserved it 706

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 13 530

Today, I found out that my half-brother from my mom’s side is dating my half-sister from my dad’s side when I caught them hooking up at our last family event. Even though they aren’t blood related, it’s still super creepy for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 262

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 708

You deserved it 4 111