Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near...

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 504

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 803

You deserved it 20 451

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 374

You deserved it 7 034

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 563

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 883

You deserved it 14 061

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 178

You deserved it 5 860

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 161

You deserved it 6 339

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 622

You deserved it 2 764

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 292

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 139

You deserved it 4 169

skinthesnakes 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:04

Did you not "wand" it?

apache316 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:06

Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.

Comments

jokeson_me 3

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:26

So basically, he found your hogwarts acceptance letter?

tsuki56s 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:45

Are you kidding? That's awesome!

jeanniebabee 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:46

lol, i would kick my boyfriends ass if he did that to me. but its still somewhat funny [:

ayamekiba 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:50

I see nothing wrong with that depending on who it belonged to it wasn't cheep

HeyItsOlive246 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:53

I would have been beyond excited. Just sayin'. :P

anddaman 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:56

its a dick in a box!

skeezle 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:58

Don't expect so much and you won't be disappointed. (:

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:25

And you're not happy with a wand? Filthy Muggle!

combatbunny 9

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:31

Dude, that's awesome!

iloveweed69 7

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:32

I want a wand

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Relatable Health Kids Mental health Parents Creepy Scary Cold weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, it's been 3 weeks since I was suspended and the fired from my job for falling asleep at the desk. Very unprofessional, even if I was 29 weeks pregnant and sick. It's also been 3 weeks since I've had trouble falling asleep because I'm too used to working nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 234

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 10

The Top

Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 109

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 319

You deserved it 4 150

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 578

You deserved it 8 851

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years has spent a total of 2k on OnlyFans throughout our entire relationship. I thought everything was going good. I guess that's the red flag for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 228

Today, I did the most idiotic thing someone living with their parents could possibly do. I made a separate online casino account in my mom's name (just her name, my email, phone number, etc.) When I deposited from my bank account, the site got suspicious, and is now making me and her sign a document to get the money out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 734

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 806

You deserved it 4 442