Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near...

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 504

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 803

You deserved it 20 451

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 374

You deserved it 7 034

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 563

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 883

You deserved it 14 061

By nickrick12 - 19/07/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 178

You deserved it 5 860

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 161

You deserved it 6 339

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 622

You deserved it 2 764

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 292

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 139

You deserved it 4 169

skinthesnakes 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:04

Did you not "wand" it?

apache316 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:06

Screw the necklace, I'd take the wand.

Comments

Takainthemachine 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:15

Welcome to Hogwarts?:-(

O87LX 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:17

At least it wasn't a dick in a box, or would you rather have had that

SpruceDread4578 13

Wednesday 14 December 2011 13:56

No, I'd rather have the dick in a box :)

mickypequi 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:25

These kind of FMLS are very YDIs. You date a nerd, expect nerdy gifts, ideas, surprises etc. I happen to be a big nerd and would find this very cute. So not an FML at all in my opinion.

brick_man33 14

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:34

I wonder if OP's boyfriend yells out "oh yeah hermione" during sex.

darkinners 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:41

Hogwarts asked me to send you this letter

M0rt 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:42

It's for you to stick in your chamber of secrets

wittygirl 8

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:06

Best comment ever lol

hennessy89 34

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:43

Well, are you mad because you didn't choose it on your own? I know how difficult it can be using a wand that doesn't "belong" to you. Mine is 9 1/2inches holly with a strand of unicorn hair. =)

monster_tamer 11

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:43

If it was a Harry potter wand, I would have seen it as being better than a necklace. But that's just my personal taste.

RaquelW 7

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:44

any asshole can buy you a necklace. that takes very little creativity. he must have really thought you'd like it, I doubt he'd take you to dinner just to let you down! don't be such a goddamn flobberworm.