Love: Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt....

By happybirthday - 26/09/2011 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 625

You deserved it 2 868

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

By readytomingle - 15/07/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 084

You deserved it 42 401

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 180

You deserved it 2 634

By 1fungi - 07/12/2010 05:25

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 011

You deserved it 5 442

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 7 976

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 367

You deserved it 4 273

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 009

You deserved it 2 454

By mookiemookie01 - 27/03/2014 22:34

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 962

You deserved it 5 856

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 533

You deserved it 2 213

By garfwebba - 03/01/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 6 631

ms_YoungMula 8

Monday 26 September 2011 22:38

You should have told her you can't wear it cus your other girl friend will get mad, lol

indistructo 3

Monday 26 September 2011 22:36

points for creative and funny break up

Comments

perdix 29

Monday 26 September 2011 22:58

Your thank- you card should read: "I ate your smelly, unclean pussy without puking and all I got was a lousy T-shirt ... and a lingual yeast infection."

ikickgingers 15

Monday 26 September 2011 23:11

Effing eww

TheLastChild 8

Monday 26 September 2011 23:25

Now that's creativity. Bravo!

Spinnmaster 1

Monday 26 September 2011 23:41

Perdix, you are becoming my favorite Commenter!

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:21

Aw, Kicky, I'm sorry to offend your sensibilities. For being such a brave soldier, she should have give him at least a hoodie ;)

AmyBGirl 3

Monday 26 September 2011 23:03

She's right, you're single! Enjoy your freedom, as well as your birthday, and forget that loser :)

niralz16 0

Monday 26 September 2011 23:05

Probably her way of breaking up with you..at least it's not harsh:D

minty1807 9

Monday 26 September 2011 23:08

Gotta give her points for style...

evybeth 0

Monday 26 September 2011 23:10

Well.. Happy birthday..

iparker97 0

Monday 26 September 2011 23:14

Get her the red Mario mushroom one that says "Grow Up"

letsgooo_fml 23

Monday 26 September 2011 23:24

What a bitch. You're better off.

GamerMatt97 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:11

Hey u will find a better gf

lena6310 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:11

That's pretty childish unless you were a complete ass of a boyfriend. Either way though still immature

lilemmy55 10

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:19

Happy birthday!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 433

You deserved it 46 505

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 503

You deserved it 4 524

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 669

You deserved it 47 001

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 176

You deserved it 3 214

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 156

You deserved it 2 850

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 227

You deserved it 47 286

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 745

You deserved it 3 570

Same thing different taste

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