Love: Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt....

By happybirthday - 26/09/2011 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 624

You deserved it 2 867

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Same thing different taste

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 563

By readytomingle - 15/07/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 083

You deserved it 42 397

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 177

You deserved it 2 634

By 1fungi - 07/12/2010 05:25

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 008

You deserved it 5 441

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 012

You deserved it 7 974

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 367

You deserved it 4 273

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 006

You deserved it 2 453

By mookiemookie01 - 27/03/2014 22:34

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 959

You deserved it 5 856

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 528

You deserved it 2 211

By garfwebba - 03/01/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 6 628

ms_YoungMula 8

Monday 26 September 2011 22:38

You should have told her you can't wear it cus your other girl friend will get mad, lol

indistructo 3

Monday 26 September 2011 22:36

points for creative and funny break up

Comments

perdix 29

Monday 26 September 2011 22:58

Your thank- you card should read: "I ate your smelly, unclean pussy without puking and all I got was a lousy T-shirt ... and a lingual yeast infection."

ikickgingers 15

Monday 26 September 2011 23:11

Effing eww

TheLastChild 8

Monday 26 September 2011 23:25

Now that's creativity. Bravo!

Spinnmaster 1

Monday 26 September 2011 23:41

Perdix, you are becoming my favorite Commenter!

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:21

Aw, Kicky, I'm sorry to offend your sensibilities. For being such a brave soldier, she should have give him at least a hoodie ;)

AmyBGirl 3

Monday 26 September 2011 23:03

She's right, you're single! Enjoy your freedom, as well as your birthday, and forget that loser :)

niralz16 0

Monday 26 September 2011 23:05

Probably her way of breaking up with you..at least it's not harsh:D

minty1807 9

Monday 26 September 2011 23:08

Gotta give her points for style...

evybeth 0

Monday 26 September 2011 23:10

Well.. Happy birthday..

iparker97 0

Monday 26 September 2011 23:14

Get her the red Mario mushroom one that says "Grow Up"

letsgooo_fml 23

Monday 26 September 2011 23:24

What a bitch. You're better off.

GamerMatt97 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:11

Hey u will find a better gf

lena6310 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:11

That's pretty childish unless you were a complete ass of a boyfriend. Either way though still immature

lilemmy55 10

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:19

Happy birthday!

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Parents Weekend Kids Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Pizza

The Top

Today, I went for an interview in the big city, with an expensive commute. Despite being an office-based management role requiring years of experience, they only offered minimum wage. After explaining it wouldn't be acceptable and tried to negotiate, they kicked me out and had the balls to call me "ungrateful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 99

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for "disciplining" her son, saying, "You're not his father!" I've lived with them for two years, supporting them, while his real father is off shooting up heroin, but sure, I'm out of line for telling the little brat that I don't like being called "Butt-crack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 524

Today, I was listening to music while wearing my headphones on campus. A song I really liked came on, and after a while, I started doing air guitar along to it. I was soon accosted by campus security. Apparently, air guitar looks like jerking off from really far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 232

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from studying abroad a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 2 760

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 955

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 954

You deserved it 3 671

Today, a huge family crisis happened, with an abusive DIL, traumatized 10 year-old grandson, and bit-up, scratched-up son. Son and grandson had to flee their home. My husband (their step-dad for 43 years) announced he's going to play golf. Not his kid and grandkid, so why stick around and be supportive? FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 195

Same thing different taste

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