Kids: Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet....

By nicki - 14/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 8 159

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Same thing different taste

Work sucks

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 407

You deserved it 2 645

By fired - 13/05/2012 06:26 - United States - Portland

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 669

You deserved it 47 001

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 829

You deserved it 68 935

By mommylife - 15/04/2015 04:17 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 790

You deserved it 3 964

By Username - 03/06/2011 14:04 - United States

Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 952

You deserved it 59 948

SHAME!

By Poowee - 18/09/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 591

You deserved it 49 434

By I'm a pussy, yeah yeah - 05/09/2015 05:56 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 952

You deserved it 10 019

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 780

You deserved it 818

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 605

rubberbullets 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 22:54

learn how to shit faster or hold it...

Judus_beej 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 22:58

who doesn't like to shave pussy?

Comments

iheartglasses 0

Monday 15 November 2010 2:24

Kids can be incredibly creative.. If I want to spend any time on myself, I have to wait till my son is asleep. Unless its an emergency. Then I put him in his obviously child proof room with those door knob lock things lol AMAZING invention :)

arrow007archer 19

Wednesday 25 June 2014 18:25

until the fire alarm goes off

itzdeity 0

Monday 15 November 2010 2:30

I agree with 37. kids are always testing you! you can only trust them in a baby proof room!!

odexy 12

Monday 15 November 2010 2:56

Why aren't more people wondering how on earth children got something to shave the cat with in the first place? I mean, it's not the easiest task to accomplish, even in 10 minutes. The cat would also probably scream like mad, considering they wouldn't be the most gentle.

alinefromme 0

Monday 15 November 2010 8:55

I'm with you: the cat shaving story is a lie. The irresponsible childcare sounds true, though!

Sw33tFML 0

Monday 15 November 2010 3:15

gotta love kids and their creativity lol

kristir9426 0

Monday 15 November 2010 3:17

I hope you were honest with the mom about what happened... most moms understand that!

Mariah162 0

Monday 15 November 2010 3:24

If you had to crap that long the parents might be more frustrated about the scent in the bathroom that traveled throughout the house.

alltimelowluv 0

Monday 15 November 2010 3:42

if the kids are old enough to shave the cat, aren't they too old for a baby sitter? I'm 19 and I wouldn't know how to shave a cat.. Oh and OP YFDI for leaving kids unattended.