Money: Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from... - FML

By Micawber - 31/01/2011 13:55 - Denmark

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 3 467

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 173

By Milly - 23/05/2018 05:00

Today, it's my birthday, and my coworkers gave me a $75 gift card to a restaurant chain near my house. Later in the evening, I found out the chain of restaurants abruptly closed. All of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 904

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 07:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, it's my birthday and I had to work. My boss wished me a happy birthday, and then told me I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 160

By pale-suzie - 19/03/2014 12:28 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 041

You deserved it 4 312

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 158

Friends and family

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 09:59

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 356

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 138

You deserved it 8 326

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 802

You deserved it 3 405

By Ondskansgris - 12/03/2009 09:59 - Sweden

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 152

You deserved it 7 466

By anon - 04/12/2009 10:35 - Australia

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 185

You deserved it 2 737

Next

Top comments

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 31 January 2011 19:10

Well, either your account was too low or you did something else to get your account closed. They're just doing their job.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 31 January 2011 19:05

Happy Birthday and that sucks :(

Comments

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 1 February 2011 5:43

poverty sux

lolbrick 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 7:12

I've never even had a bday party in my life.

perdix 29

Tuesday 1 February 2011 7:20

How does that go? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Micawber. Now take your 73 cents and get the **** outta here! PS: I'm not paying royalties to the estate of Mildred and Patty Hill. That was a parody and an example of Fair Use.

Jasmine143 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 8:24

Happy Birthday (:

Mistery510 6

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:05

yeah and I spent two of my birthdays alone... in Iraq.... quit crying

anma_fml 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:27

it's still your birthday...

dayummalyssa 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:36

mine too!!!! ;D

sherivengeance 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 15:01

happy birthday! sorry things aren't going that great for u ATM

yaknowiverse 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:50

no it's not. HAPPY FUCKEN BIRTHDAY

katiedoll6 7

Thursday 29 March 2012 23:02

Happy birthday from Ireland xxxxxxx

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Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 685

The Top

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 067

You deserved it 6 904

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 4 727

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 347

You deserved it 14 501

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, as usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 7 230

Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 116

You deserved it 41 858

Today, my ex friend turned half the school against me, saying I stole and damaged her phone, both lies. Things escalated and she threatened to jump me if I didn't apologize. I apologized but now she's making me pay money for something I didn't do, and I'm seriously considering a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 177