Intimacy: Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner....

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 2 598

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 273

You deserved it 7 011

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

Where d'you go?!

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 673

You deserved it 3 565

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 564

You deserved it 243

By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 217

You deserved it 29 165

By phuckbukket7 - 27/04/2014 22:08 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 670

You deserved it 8 731

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 391

You deserved it 4 322

By intranator - 08/04/2009 21:43 - Jordan

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 939

You deserved it 9 693

By Haitwun - 08/12/2014 02:18 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 2 938

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 395

You deserved it 3 450

andyourpointis 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:26

That's unfortunate. Allegedly, birthday sex involves the person whose birthday it is...

thinmint 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:36

Hey she had to make some cash to pay for your dinner. Be more appreciative.

Comments

Shelbylou 2

Monday 21 December 2009 19:32

that's well bad. Well bad birthday dinner :/

darrenm813 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 2:18

shit, and i thought i had relationship problems. FYL i hope you dumped her ass in the most cold heart way possible, dont hold back

monster_tamer 11

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:51

Wow is right. 0.0'

queenconeja 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 15:49

im sensing a lesbo lol #22 that is the first time ive ever heard of the phrase 'winnie the pooh style' oddly enough..that explains a few things lol.

davids123 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 17:09

lol why is every 1 asking if its a guy are a girl who she ******? she just ****** some 1 on his bday who givs a shit if its a guy or girl o_0 loool

COBRAMORPH 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 7:38

#34, if she cheats with a dude, she is a lying cheating *****. If its a chick, its hot, & obviously, they just started the 3-some early without him, so that every thing is perfect for when he joins in. Because, you know, the world was created for men, by a male god, & god only made women so that men would not be lonely & turn gay. Women are just like animals or a tool that for some reason are allowed to talk back.

snoosnoo 1

Saturday 2 January 2010 23:55

Something tells me you're one of those guys who still lives with his parents at the age of 38 and is a permanent virgin. Can't imagine which girl will go for someone who actually agrees with that pile of shit you just spewed out. Either that or GTFO troll.

WeAllHaveFmls 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 1:47

Wow Cobramorph your a big ass go **** yourselff

OMGitsME432 1

Sunday 7 February 2010 7:01

Sexist prick. You have no room to speak.

anonymous112295 0

Friday 12 February 2010 4:56

#35; wow. your a dousche bag! i am VERY offended. your never gonna get a girl if you think that.

ohheykiwi 2

Sunday 18 April 2010 23:23

Goddamn, people, learn to read sarcasm ~_~"

schalk 12

Monday 17 January 2011 19:02

Sarcasm only works when your tone of voice and facial expression can be heard & seen. So... the joke failed miserably.

Spac3Ghost 0

Monday 28 December 2009 18:24

t all the people who said that this man deserved it, i hope you all have terrible relationships that never work out and i hope you all get shot when you're running after the one you love!! grrrrrr... fyl man, my sympathies...

smart_chick390 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 6:36

Yo, Cobramorph? wtf is your issue? You have serious problems dude. First of all, God is a being, not male, not female. also, women are not some tool for your freaking pleasure. We need to be respected. Just because some girls are ***** and are horrible people, doesn't make us all that way. So yeah, your love life will simply be this: a ton a ***** who will never leave you happy, while you'll be all lonely and have no one to really connect with. Get a life dude. seriously. go to church, cause you might learn something about life, love, and God.