Miscellaneous: Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs...

By anonymous - 13/01/2014 01:40 - United States - Upper Darby

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 135

You deserved it 44 286

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Same thing different taste

The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 26/01/2010 18:55 - Canada

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 362

You deserved it 8 722

Hush, Mother

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1 062

By really? - 13/04/2013 09:21 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 24 145

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 04:17

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 616

You deserved it 18 376

By KmartFart - 04/10/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 511

You deserved it 4 089

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 420

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 086

You deserved it 4 089

By 00bsg - 21/12/2013 15:46 - United States - Salem

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 104

You deserved it 4 339

By fmylifebadddd - 18/04/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 180

You deserved it 5 718

JMichael 25

Monday 13 January 2014 17:37

Maybe you should lay off them big booty hoes.

sexysaltshaker 11

Monday 13 January 2014 17:37

And did they get you a big booty hoe?

Comments

origmichael 8

Tuesday 14 January 2014 1:05

2 Chhhaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnzzzzzzz!!!!!!!

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Tuesday 14 January 2014 1:26

Only thing funnier would've been if one of your friends or relatives had yelled out then you're going to love my gift.

saidoh_fml 26

Tuesday 14 January 2014 3:16

The 2chainz reference is an automatic YDI.

MrSmarts 6

Tuesday 14 January 2014 3:49

Nice Man!!

mxij 13

Tuesday 14 January 2014 4:20

In what scenario is this even remotely acceptable?

floggnaw_daunis 8

Tuesday 14 January 2014 5:23

She got a big booty so I called her big booty

mjdjoy 5

Tuesday 14 January 2014 6:32

Added to favorites

yerawizardlizzy 27

Tuesday 14 January 2014 6:53

Who gets everyone together for a birthday party to take place as soon as the guest of honor wakes up??

HScofield2230 5

Tuesday 14 January 2014 7:40

Haha epic!

brittyboo123 35

Tuesday 14 January 2014 7:43

You're suppose to make that wish when. blowing out the candles OP! :p

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Mental health Work Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Art Photography Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

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I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 74

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 3 008

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Today, I decided to finish up some Christmas shopping. Instead, I ended up having to buy a present for myself - a new alternator after my car died and left me stranded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 243

Today, when going to bed after a night of heavy drinking, my boyfriend told me he was in love with his cousin, and that she’s way prettier than me. Later in the morning, he said it was just "drunk talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 87

Today, I had to sit through the film The 40 Year Old Virgin with my friends, who thought it was hilarious. I'm well over 40 and also a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 455

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 187

You deserved it 5 936

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 48

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 430

You deserved it 37 393

Same thing different taste

The hair of the dog

Hush, Mother

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