Intimacy: Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old...

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By Megan - 23/02/2009 16:47 - Canada

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 963

You deserved it 5 488

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Same thing different taste

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 105 013

Never trust the messenger

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 154

You deserved it 21 001

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 555

You deserved it 48 721

It wasn't me

By SingleGirl - 07/09/2009 15:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 349

You deserved it 4 249

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 682

You deserved it 6 642

Double standards

By Anonymous - 21/02/2013 18:45 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 683

You deserved it 2 682

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 895

You deserved it 70 410

By Micmicmic - 15/04/2017 04:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 768

You deserved it 351

By bigbro - 06/09/2016 08:05 - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 377

You deserved it 4 980

Fight your own battles

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 4 797

Diabeetus 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:26

So were you sexing him a lot?

uminuscooll 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:02

omg! that's awful.

Comments

uminuscooll 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:02

omg! that's awful.

Diabeetus 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:26

So were you sexing him a lot?

max_wilder 9

Tuesday 20 March 2012 3:27

That would seem to be the case

Rhodesy1 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:38

bad times indeed

suckerz 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:52

damn that sucks... taking away the car??? evil

zenox59 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 8:09

njkjjjn

holynemesis1208 3

Monday 23 February 2009 20:56

i hope your were at least having fun in these texts.

sfgiants2010 0

Monday 23 February 2009 20:57

nice!

KatieWagnerFab 0

Monday 23 February 2009 21:01

What a little brat.

swgmimi12 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 23:55

How is he a brat it says he's four years old.

Bauer_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 21:06

Texting, is that what the kids call it these days?

ilawlzatyou 0

Monday 23 February 2009 22:28

Unless you're 9, your mom's overreacting.

JustCallMeCloud 0

Monday 23 February 2009 22:52

#16 So if she was 10 it would be okay to have sex? Some parents are really conservative compared to others. I wouldn't expect my kid to have sex until 16 and then I would still be shocked. A lot of the shock might the mom thought little kid saw/heard her "sexing".