Miscellaneous: Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs...

By anonymous - 13/01/2014 01:40 - United States - Upper Darby

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 137

You deserved it 44 290

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The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 26/01/2010 18:55 - Canada

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 8 723

Hush, Mother

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 078

By really? - 13/04/2013 09:21 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 512

You deserved it 24 147

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 04:17

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 622

You deserved it 18 379

By KmartFart - 04/10/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 512

You deserved it 4 091

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 578

You deserved it 3 420

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 086

You deserved it 4 090

Pissed

By fmylifebadddd - 18/04/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 210

You deserved it 5 719

By 00bsg - 21/12/2013 15:46 - United States - Salem

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 106

You deserved it 4 339

JMichael 25

Monday 13 January 2014 17:37

Maybe you should lay off them big booty hoes.

sexysaltshaker 11

Monday 13 January 2014 17:37

And did they get you a big booty hoe?

Comments

Epikouros 31

Tuesday 14 January 2014 9:48

A big bootie hoe, wouldn't that be a shovel? What a boring present.

brandoneyez1 25

Tuesday 14 January 2014 14:45

Did grandma and grandpa get you a booty hoe?

NutellaPrincess 9

Wednesday 15 January 2014 0:45

Uh-Oh sometimes you need to check around before making a 2 Chainz Referance

caitlinbblack 14

Wednesday 15 January 2014 6:48

I'm assuming you mean in the morning when you woke up? Who has a surprise party that early.? :p

Nastorrian 11

Wednesday 15 January 2014 9:02

If that's true than that is epic. Nice job bud, lol.

fristinkristin 16

Wednesday 15 January 2014 11:26

Ahah my friend told me about this one earlier today. Hilarious!

icepick23 12

Wednesday 15 January 2014 16:49

YDI for considering that crap to be music?

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 15 January 2014 22:43

I bet they had one with a bow on top of her head waiting for you.

slapsface 10

Thursday 16 January 2014 4:58

Hoe hoe hoe

Biofire 8

Friday 20 June 2014 3:23

Gram gram don't count.

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You deserved it 9 839

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I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 124

The Top

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 536

You deserved it 28 978

Today, my mother gave me a dress she'd made for herself at twenty five. I’m seventeen. It fits around the stomach but is gappy all around my butt and boobs. Thank you for reinforcing my theory that I’m somehow both flat and fat at the same time, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 254

Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 241

You deserved it 3 077

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 601

You deserved it 4 115

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 806

You deserved it 49 251

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 066

You deserved it 2 965

Same thing different taste

The hair of the dog

Hush, Mother

Pissed

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