Miscellaneous: Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs...

By anonymous - 13/01/2014 01:40 - United States - Upper Darby

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 134

You deserved it 44 286

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
When technology meets shopping, expect stories as surprising as an unexpected click! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 26/01/2010 18:55 - Canada

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 362

You deserved it 8 721

Hush, Mother

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1 060

By really? - 13/04/2013 09:21 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 508

You deserved it 24 142

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 04:17

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 615

You deserved it 18 376

By KmartFart - 04/10/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 509

You deserved it 4 088

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 419

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 085

You deserved it 4 088

By 00bsg - 21/12/2013 15:46 - United States - Salem

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 104

You deserved it 4 339

By fmylifebadddd - 18/04/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 177

You deserved it 5 718

JMichael 25

Monday 13 January 2014 17:37

Maybe you should lay off them big booty hoes.

sexysaltshaker 11

Monday 13 January 2014 17:37

And did they get you a big booty hoe?

Comments

cathrope 10

Monday 13 January 2014 19:58

I usually yell let me sleep.

GingerRoot 13

Monday 13 January 2014 20:08

Careful opening your gifts!

aye_bro_i_just 1

Monday 13 January 2014 20:44

Birthday morning done right

N_i_c_o_l_a_s__ 4

Monday 13 January 2014 21:22

Your grandparents are giving you a big booty hoe

merik225 14

Monday 13 January 2014 21:34

Would be even better if OP was a girl.

Bacontree 14

Monday 13 January 2014 22:16

What the hell kind of a thing to say is that?

o_uhu_intrstng 4

Monday 13 January 2014 22:22

well I bet nobody is wondering what you wished for when you blew out the candles

rocknawesome 8

Monday 13 January 2014 23:55

I laughed so hard at this

paigexox0 37

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:38

Woulda made me laugh

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:39

That's pretty funny but OP, you're a damn idiot.

Keywords

Weird Underwear Clothes Miscellaneous Halloween Dogs Animals Cute Awkward Fire First Dates Smells Love Work Scary Phobias Embarrassing Shopping Kids Therapy Health Friends Mental health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Thief Customers TV shows

The Top

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard, "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 913

You deserved it 2 818

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's artist! Today is special, because the artist is maybe a he, maybe a she, maybe his name is Harry, maybe her name is Paula, the truth is that I don't know much about him or her. I think it's a ghost. At l...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 367

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 7 001

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 334

You deserved it 2 122

Today, out of my mom, dad, and my siblings, I was the only one selected for a “random” extra check at the airport. My parents are English and my siblings were adopted from France and Scotland, and are all white. My bio parents were Pakistani, and I'm nutbrown and I was the only “random” search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 216

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 364

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 721

You deserved it 3 695

Same thing different taste

The hair of the dog

Hush, Mother

Top comments

Comments