Miscellaneous: Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to...

By Avomitmous - 09/02/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 729

You deserved it 5 327

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Same thing different taste

Gross!

By cantstopfeelingit - 16/12/2019 05:00

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 212

You deserved it 2 492

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

By EwwEwwEww - 19/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 464

By Peach - 02/03/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 703

You deserved it 2 171

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 372

You deserved it 3 576

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657

By feckingnasty - 26/01/2018 19:00

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 651

You deserved it 463

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 836

You deserved it 6 423

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 383

You deserved it 2 079

By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 978

You deserved it 9 991

Senseless_487 29

Monday 10 February 2014 1:45

He really should have toed you about that.

mea_iloveskiing 26

Monday 10 February 2014 1:43

At least you didn't find another woman's underwear :)

Comments

Omniprism 14

Monday 10 February 2014 19:45

Some people would pay money for that jar of toenail clippings.

Nastorrian 11

Monday 10 February 2014 19:57

That says a lot about someone actually... Gross..

AHopelessDeath 12

Monday 10 February 2014 22:50

how long have you two been married but not lived in the same house together? ...also...your husband has a seperate room? or what?? o.0

anon137 7

Monday 10 February 2014 23:30

Better than finding someone else's panties.....just saying....

ecascio2010 9

Tuesday 11 February 2014 1:54

Wait... You just moved in?? With your husband?? This is why you need to live together before getting married.

NodakN8V 25

Tuesday 11 February 2014 4:14

The things some people do just baffle me ...why would anyone keep toenail clippings WTH

pensacolalady 10

Tuesday 11 February 2014 6:56

Yuck! Who does that?

Ray_of_midnight 22

Wednesday 12 February 2014 3:27

Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder, most likely.

it__happens 17

Wednesday 12 February 2014 4:30

I have officially lost faith in humanity.

heinous966 15

Wednesday 12 February 2014 13:35

Why do you and your husband have seperate rooms?

Cemetery87 10

Friday 21 February 2014 10:01

careful, he might be a monster from the cartoon 'Ahh! Real Monsters!' they used toenails as currency. Perhaps you merely found his piggy bank. ;)

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Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 118

The Top

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 055

You deserved it 3 099

Today, I got a new, short haircut. Now I look like my little brother who died two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 133

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 137

You deserved it 3 694

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 5 439

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 641

You deserved it 838

Today, a friend came to visit me from across the U.S. We spent the majority of the time she was here standing in the rain, at the dog park 20 miles from my house, so she could "make sure her baby poops on time". Basically, I took time off to watch my friend's dog take 6 craps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 294

You deserved it 912

Same thing different taste

Gross!

Spice

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