Kids: Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new...

By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 09/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 758

You deserved it 7 908

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Same thing different taste

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 124

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 891

You deserved it 5 891

By Anonymous - 26/04/2012 04:36 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 970

You deserved it 2 695

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 637

You deserved it 9 528

By Anonymous - 24/01/2013 01:44 - United States - Waldorf

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 665

You deserved it 6 175

By aineroo - 05/11/2014 21:25 - Ireland - Galway

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 641

You deserved it 3 917

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 369

You deserved it 1 265

By Ldp56 - 25/02/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 012

You deserved it 4 610

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 761

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 287

You deserved it 4 919

Harpy20 24

Monday 9 December 2013 13:53

She'll figure it out when she's starving.

aforbiddendance 23

Monday 9 December 2013 13:54

I don't think your daughter should worry about her weight at this age..

Comments

jsjordan 2

Monday 9 December 2013 19:39

Playing video games help. If you play really fun addictive games you don't think about food. Just drink tons of water and maybe eat one to two meals a day

ni0ve 9

Monday 9 December 2013 20:29

She's thirteen. Cut her a break.

tompou6 19

Monday 9 December 2013 20:37

Where has society gone wrong?

mosquito19 14

Monday 9 December 2013 21:16

that make sense, cancer will quickly make you loose weight.

drewflav 17

Monday 9 December 2013 22:23

Unlike humans, which consist of 100% chemicals. Didn't you pay any attention to your high school science classes? Everything is made of different combinations of chemicals. Would you avoid a baked product that had "sodium bicarbonate" in it because it has a "chemical" name? It's baking soda dumbass. Most food ingredients have common names; they use the chemical name to throw off the people who don't have the brains to realize what it is. Do your homework next time before you comment please.

CynthiaMeAtSix 7

Monday 9 December 2013 22:41

Haha is she referring to vitamin water.

TheWolfNinja 1

Monday 9 December 2013 22:51

She'll soon realize its bs, I once stupidly believed something like this a few years ago, only for a minute.

Capt_Air713 13

Monday 9 December 2013 22:59

Your daughter is very much so an idiot.

FemskyD 26

Monday 9 December 2013 23:01

Cheaper than a gym membership xD she ll find out soon enough it doenst quite work that way..

hayjay2000 8

Monday 9 December 2013 23:34

Well maybe instead of calling YOUR OWN YOUNG DAUGHTER stupid on the Internet, maybe think how YOU and YOUR PARTNER GUIDED HER. She is 13 you douchebag and obviously you haven't taught her well. Can you imagine your daughter seeing this? Calling her stupid, when obviously she already may have self-esteem issues considering she is trying dieting. You should be ashamed.