By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
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Top comments

mpj13 8

How do you even get the two confused?

142 4
Werken247 14

Were you and your husband related before you got married? C'mon now tell the truth.

88 5

Comments

CazDan 1

Under no circumstances should you let him cook for you.

45 1
FML_Whale 18

I wouldn't take any egg salad sandwiches from him.

2 0
zombieslayer83 19

Not as many shitty puns as I suspected!

8 4
ICastillo 24

Because people don't want the shit storm that comes after one.

7 1
billyz77 24

Give 'em time. The hoard is gathering as we speak (type?).

2 2
stargirl_95 24

I find the fact that your 14 year old son cannot tell the difference between a dog turd and a bird's egg slightly disturbing. I hate to disappoint you, but it doesn't look like your son is going to become a rocket scientist who studied at an Ivy League university like you were hoping OP.

26 2
Marineman5 6

Maybe you should teach your kid about the wildlife. Obviously his school isn't doing its job.

8 1
infaith 5

I'm pretty sure school doesn't explain what molded dog shit looks like...

5 2
Marineman5 6

True but the kid is 14 a little common sense

2 0
perdix 29

Tell him if he sits on it long enough and keeps it warm, he'll hatch a puppy! That ought to give you several weeks of peace and quiet as your idiot boy plays Mama Dogbird.

28 2
billyz77 24

You did it again, perdix. I always read FMLs while eating breakfast and this is at least the fifth or sixth time you've made me laugh out loud with a mouthful of food or drink. I should send you the bill for the dry cleaning. They charge extra for coffee stains, ya know. But thanks!!

8 4
perdix 29

#26, OK, send me the bill, but just this one time and just for you. Next time, when you see my trademark earth-toned stripes, swallow what you're eating or drinking before reading. I don't want to be responsible for any more of your laundry catastrophes.

12 1
billyz77 24

I tried sending my dry cleaning bill to you, perdix, but I'll be damned if I can figure out where the insertion slot is on my iPhone. None on my router, either, or my laptop. Damned Internet is just too complicated for this old ****** to figure out. I'll just pay it myself but thank you for the offer. I bet even OP's son could forward that bill to you but it's beyond me.

3 0
perdix 29

#55, aw, man, I'm not that much younger than you. What you do is lay out some birdseed and catch a bird. Go to the Home Depot knobs and buttons department and get my Twitter handle. Wrap the bill around the bird, secure it with the handle and sent me a Tweet. That's how all the cool kids do it these days!

7 0
rotflqtms_ 21

~These younguns & their tweeting messenger birds. First pigeons, then owls... All this tweeting is killing my wallet (bird seeds aren't cheep...um, cheap)... And my payments never seem to reach their destination... I don't know why all my birds get lost but everyone else tweets & their messages reach millions of people...maybe I need different bird food...~

5 0
rotflqtms_ 21

Um, more like 12, not 11. Dog Shit doesn't taste good fried with cheese on toasted bread with sausages... Not that I tried it or anything... *whistles & walks away*

4 1
DocBastard 38

Well, that sort of thing happens to the best of...uh... No, no it doesn't. Your son is an imbecile.

25 4
jgriff79 23

Good news you don't have to start a college fund. Bad news he is going to live with you forever.

16 0
DanielleinDC 33

I have to wonder how anyone can have such an idiot child.

1 3
zombieslayer83 19

You never know, her child could have a mental disorder!

3 1
DocBastard 38

Which is more common, sheer stupidity or mental disorders?

4 1
zombieslayer83 19

In the child or with you!

1 0
buckdharma 37

hey, cut the kid some slack. At least he is'nt trying to light the house with it.

5 0