Kids: Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking... - FML

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 587

You deserved it 7 938

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 596

You deserved it 4 253

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 474

Best gift ever

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 22:01 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my toddler handed me a present and told me to keep it forever. It was a piece of dog poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 215

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 376

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 378

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 851

You deserved it 4 242

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 676

You deserved it 883

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 1 954

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 13:05 - Austria

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 006

You deserved it 93 219

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 3 127

Next

Top comments

mpj13 8

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:55

How do you even get the two confused?

Werken247 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 18:56

Were you and your husband related before you got married? C'mon now tell the truth.

Comments

xxmckenzierae 5

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:17

Are we sure the parent truly knows its a dog turd?

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:32

Don't know if I should laugh or feel sorry.

buddy51 23

Thursday 10 January 2013 20:59

What does your son have for breakfast?

Needafarm 22

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:34

Turds over-easy or scrambled turds. I bet they are delicious.

TomPusslicker 21

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:08

Im still trying to figure out why more people think OP deserves it.

bfsd42 20

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:23

Because a child's intelligence is greatly related to the parenting they receive in a lot of cases. Quit often, a stupid child implies a stupid parent.

TomPusslicker 21

Saturday 12 January 2013 6:47

I understand that parenting plays a part, but on the other hand, the kid is 14. This leaves plenty of time for OP to be made aware of any mental illnesses, and so if this is just a stupid kid, it should come as no surprise to the parent, and so it shouldn't have been submitted as an fml by OP. I deduced that this is a shockingly stupid act by the kid alone. But i cant say that's 100% true, so im still not sure why so many people assume its OP's fault.

Drakorex 10

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:59

Stupid kids ermagherd

Andraniki 3

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:03

Lol FHL!

EvilUndead 9

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:11

Shit happens.

whoknew1 3

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:40

how does he confuse the two? does he not take science classes?

JoeRogansBEARD 15

Friday 11 January 2013 0:10

Did you study eggs and dog shit in science class? I must have missed school that day

outoftown 26

Friday 11 January 2013 4:17

It's what happens when home ec isn't taught.

DarkskyFML 5

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:57

A fourteen year old can't identify shit, really. We need a little bleach in the gene pool.

benhd1 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:14

That must come as a great relief OP. Good colleges are expensive

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 077

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 3 461

The Top

Today, while talking to a boy, he asked what my name was and in a state of panic, I said, "Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 562

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 5 027

Today, I learned for the first time it's possible to love your children, but not to like them at all. I learned this from my own dad, who told me he will always love me, but he never really liked me much, so now that I've moved out, he doesn't see much reason for us to see each other anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 134

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 69

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 627

You deserved it 2 499

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 226