Miscellaneous: Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far,...

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 21:51 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 3 753

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Same thing different taste

By fuck YOLO - 03/04/2013 05:20 - United States - Ramona

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 3 927

By oh my fucking god - 10/07/2014 13:34 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 238

You deserved it 9 105

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 083

You deserved it 9 224

By SomeDJ - 12/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 107

You deserved it 46 892

By Anonymous - 16/01/2017 17:07

Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 171

You deserved it 693

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 404

You deserved it 3 824

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 305

By yoggabe - 18/08/2012 20:34 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 543

You deserved it 2 351

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 239

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 750

You deserved it 521

Tdrizzzzzly 19

Sunday 15 September 2013 9:28

Seriously? How old is he/she? Seriously?

Docbee 11

Sunday 15 September 2013 9:30

How old will a 16 year old girl be? Depends how much she's been used... ._.

Comments

alwaysmalia 12

Monday 16 September 2013 5:43

Brainless...

ruthi666 23

Monday 16 September 2013 6:33

Does she say "ratchet" too?

Erick_lawl 6

Monday 16 September 2013 7:19

I see nothing wrong with raunchy.

pyiero 6

Monday 16 September 2013 9:01

Kill it before it lays eggs!!

lenamartinovic 13

Monday 16 September 2013 14:53

What does "raunchy" even mean?

seekingasaviour 9

Wednesday 18 September 2013 15:01

Basically, it means slutty

NodakN8V 25

Monday 16 September 2013 16:07

Another child left behind

random_man1999 11

Monday 16 September 2013 19:43

At least she's not saying yolo

siggy_mcsigx 22

Monday 16 September 2013 21:32

Only people over the age of 50 use the word raunchy O_o

orlindis 1

Tuesday 17 September 2013 2:33

She probably watches joey graceffa on youtube.. Hahah i love him ask her if she does

Eliana16 6

Tuesday 17 September 2013 4:25

I'm going to throw a ******* dictionary at her

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The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 221

You deserved it 5 149

The Top

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 887

You deserved it 6 803

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 399

You deserved it 4 707

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Today, while planning my baby shower with my mom and sister, our other sister made a huge scene, screaming how no one threw her a party when she adopted a baby, and that my parents should stop referring to mine as their first grandchild since she already gave them one. A puppy. She has a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 130

Today, despite being married and renting my own apartment, I can't fulfil my teenage dream of slamming my wife on the sofa and pounding her like cheap mince, all because it would apparently "defile the sofa for the children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 417

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 389

You deserved it 5 030

Same thing different taste

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